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Monday, March 21, 2005

Top Ten Questions Congress Forgot To Ask Baseball Players
  
"Who does Pete Rose have in his NCAA pool?"
"Why is Bud Selig so damn creepy?"
"Ever snort Rosin?"
"How will all this affect the value of my baseball card collection?"
"Mr. Palmiero, are you more embarassed by the steroid scandal or those Viagra commercials?"
"Can we really call this a hearing if none of you are saying anything?"
"Barney Frank wants to know if Johnny Damon is single?"
"Can you think of a better way to waste taxpayer money?"
"We should have invited David Wells--at least he'd bring beer."
"Why don't the Mets take performance-enhancing drugs?"
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"Does Johnny Damon use a banned hair conditioner?"

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"Do steroids allow you to give 111% instead of 110%?"

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"How did Commissioner Bud Selig get so cut and ripped?"

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"How much could we get for an autographed subpoena on eBay?"

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"Do you know any steroid users aside from ballplayers and the governor of California?"

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