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Monday, May 09, 2005

Top Ten Tips For Winning The Kentucky Derby Presented By The Winning Jockey From The 131st Kentucky Derby, Mike Smith
  
To make weight, I haven't eaten since June.
Promise horse, "If you win, I'll buy you 'Seabiscuit' on dvd."
Goodbye uncomfortable iron horse shoes--hello sensible Dr. Scholl's insole cushions.
Practice by riding a lot of merry-go-rounds.
Starter will let you out of gate early if you slip him a twenty.
Every few strides I lean into the horse's ear and I yell, "Giddyup!"
Two words: Vibrating saddle
Before race, I toss back a couple Mint Juleps.
To eliminate wind resistance, shave your horse.
It helps if your trainer is Jose Canseco.
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