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Friday, June 17, 2005

Top Ten Signs Your Pilot Is Drunk
  
Introduces his co-pilots Johnnie Walker and Jack Daniels
Wings on his hat made of folded cocktail straws
In lieu of P.A. safety instructions, he sings "Kung Fu Fighting"
Long rambling announcements about what animal shapes he's seeing in the clouds
At security, passengers remove shoes---he removes pants
Giggling fit every time he says the word "cockpit"
Delays takeoff to de-ice his mojito
You experience heavy turbulence and you're only taxiing to the runway
Invites all passengers to a "layover" in his hotel room
Midflight asks, "Which one of you losers is the designated driver?"
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