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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Top Ten O.J. Simpson Excuses For Stealing Direct TV
  
For some reason, cable guy is afraid to come to the house
Spends a lot of time watching television now that it's too hot to go out and kill people
Wanted to see where he ranked on Court TV's 100 Creepiest Acquitted Murderers
Figured "real killers" might show up on one of them great premium movie channels
It was a rare lapse in judgement
Believe it or not, he's had a bit of trouble landing a job
"Hey, any publicity is good publicity, am I right?"
Cable's been out since he stabbed his television
Since when is stealing against the law?!
It's not like he killed anyone
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