CBS Logo

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Mall
  
"Mall security guards won't stop tasering people"
"The mannequins are giving you the finger"
"You toss a penny in the fountain and it hits a corpse"
"Lenscrafters promises glasses 'In about a month'"
"The Sbarro sbucks"
"It's located in the 'bad part' of Fallujah"
"Saturday is 'Mexican Gang Day'"
"You check your coat; 10 mintues later you see it for sale at J.C. Penney"
"The sales person keeps offering to measure your inseam, and you're at a bookstore"
"The only thing half-off is Santa's pants"
·

"Fanciest gadget at the Sharper Image is a Betamax"

·

"Former presidents Clinton and Bush have been called in to help people evacuate"

·

"When you ask for directions to the men's room, guard points to a fountain"

·

"All 12 movie screens are showing Cannonball Run"

·

"Most popular question at information desk: "How do I get the hell out of here?"

·

"The pet store is a little too close to the food court"

·

"Mall Hours: 12 - 4am"

·

"Its motorized revolving doors spin at a brisk 30 mph"

·

"Had to buy your toys at FAO Schwarzenegger"

·

"1,000 people enter, 500 leave"

"Late Show" Rewind: Week of November 24 - 28, 2008
Highlights of Nicole, Bruce, Reese, Dave's mom -- plus, a sneezing monkey!
 Watch now
A Tony Mendez Thanksgiving
Join Tony for a holiday filled with turkey, gravy, more gravy and more!
 Watch now
Top Ten Signs You're Watching a Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade
 Watch now
November 28, 2008
 Watch now
Print Send to a friend

Advertisement