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Monday, October 30, 2006

Top Ten Things I Have Learned From "Dancing With The Stars" presented by Jerry Springer
  
Sometimes your best choreographer is Johnny Walker
There are no disputes that can't be settled by dancing -- think about it North Korea
The fitness training will come in handy on my show when breaking up fights between hookers
I'm allergic to sequins
You do much better if you take the vitamins supplied by Barry Bonds' trainer
The definition of "star" has really loosened up
This might be why the terrorists hate us
I have a whole new respect for the exotic dancers on my show
If there's one thing more exciting than being on "Dancing With The Stars," it's no longer being on "Dancing With The Stars"
I need a new agent
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How to pull every muscle in my entire body

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If you want to kill a routine, set it to a Regis song

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High kicks are a cinch after a fistful of painkillers

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I look fantastic in a slinky, low-cut dress

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