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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Top Ten John Kerry Excuses
  
Lightheaded from too much Botox
Hasn't been himself since he heard Bob Barker is retiring
Remark was an ill-conceived, careless blunder, kind of like the war
Just displaying that famous wit that cost him the 2004 election
Hoped saying something really stupid would make him seem more presidential
Too much Halloween candy
Relax, the election is months away
So I botched a joke -- Letterman does it every night
On the advice of his friend Mel Gibson, he's blaming it on the Jews
"Hey, it was still funnier than most of the jokes on this list"
Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries
With an average two wounds per meal, does Kate Winslet belong in the kitchen?
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Okkervil River
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