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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Top Ten Signs George W. Bush Is Depressed
Speaks wistfully of the days when his approval rating was 33%
Barely musters a smile when catching Cheney torture detainees
Smug, arrogant smirk replaced by smug, arrogant frown
Barely laughs anymore during "Happy Days" reruns
Falls asleep during intelligence briefings...actually, he
always did that
No longer pretends he quit drinking
Sits in the Oval Office listening to Fleetwood Mac's
"Landslide" over and over
When Rumsfeld left yesterday, Bush pleaded, "Take me
with you"
At lunch with speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi, he hardly
touched his fish sticks
Asked Bubba if he still had the big chick's phone number
·
Writing lots of bad poetry about sad cowboys
·
He's considering not running for re-election in 2008
·
Replaced Karl Rove with Dr. Phil as his primary source of
horsecrap advice
·
Hasn't bothered to put on pants since the election
·
Complaining that his crappy health-insurance plan doesn't
cover Prozac
·
Correctly pronounced "nuclear"
·
He's only taken four days off this week
·
Volunteered to go hunting with Cheney
·
Spends all day in the War room playing X-Box
·
Hardly has the energy to ignore intelligence briefings
·
Doesn't even feel like invading Laura
·
Cutest nickname he could come up with for Robert Gates:
"Robert Gates"
Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries With an average two wounds per meal, does Kate Winslet belong in the kitchen?
