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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Top Ten Things I, Dave Letterman, Have Learned In 60 Years
 Top Ten   
You save a lot of money by making your own hairpieces
I owe my success to two groups of viewers: prisoners and shut-ins
"Lather" and "rinse" are fine, but "repeat" is just a scam to sell more shampoo
Them redneck jokes never get old
At staff parties, I always get stuck talking to a guy named "Shecky"
For some reason, "Dancing with the Stars" keeps sending my audition tape back
Can't think of anything funny? How about this: (video of monkey getting a root canal)
If you're missing "The Rachel Ray Show," you're missing out
Cookies is tasty
If I stay healthy, maybe I can make it to 100 -- like Regis
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Sorry, no Top Ten extras tonight!

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