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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Garry Shandling; The Teutuls; and Tokyo Police Club. PLUS:The Late Show in 3-D; Iran’s Nuclear Neighborhood; 50 Years of Larry King; the FDA; and Who Asked For It?
“. . . and now, upright-walking primate . . . . David Letterman.”
ACT 1
There are only two shows worth watching on TV these days: “Mythbusters” on the Discovery Channel and American Chopper on the Learning Channel.” And once Dave figures out the TIVO, he’ll be able to watch those shows whenever he wants.
Hey, it’s 3-D time! Dave puts on his 3-D goggles and is amazed at the incredible 3-D images that appear. He picks up some pencils and tosses them at the camera. I imagine that if I were wearing the 3-D goggles, too, I probably would have ducked. Since I didn’t have the 3-D goggles, it didn’t seem like much.
The International Atomic Energy Agency released a chilling report that says Iran has begun producing nuclear fuel in its underground uranium-enrichment plant. Included in the report was a diagram of the plant. We take a look at a diagram Dave holds up. We see various buildings which make up the enrichment plant, including a Jamba Juice! Yes, even evil-doers like a tasty treat once in a while. Paul Shaffer wisely points out that the Jamba Juice is enriched with vitamins and flavor.
This is a milestone week for Larry King. He is celebrating his 50th year in broadcasting. To honor the broadcaster with this, Larry King: A Look Back. Announcer: “Larry King began his illustrious broadcasting career on May 1, 1957 at WIOD Radio in Miami Beach. Since then, he has interviewed over 40,000 guests, including every president since the Ford Administration. What’s even more amazing is that Larry has been legally dead since 1989.
This has been ‘Larry King: A Look Back.’”
The FDA announced yesterday it was expanding an earlier pet food recall to include yet another company. We see the announcement in full.
Announcer: “The Food and Drug Administration regretfully announces the expansion of an earlier nationwide recall to include products manufactured by Natural Balance Pet Foods. The recall now includes all products made with the company’s low-grade deer meat, such as venison and brown rice dog treats, venison and green pea dry cat food, and Arby’s roast beef sandwiches.
A message from the FDA.”
Hey, it’s 3-D time again. Dave puts on his 3-D goggles and we see what a non-goggled sees at a 3-D movie. Dave tosses some pencils at the camera and if you had the goggles it would have looked as if the pencils were coming right at you through the screen.
ACT 2 WHO ASKED FOR IT? – a microphone is set up in the audience . . . audience members ask Dave questions.
It’s Mike Frankl of Allentown, Pennsylvania:
Question: “Some shows leave gifts under the seats for a studio audience. Do you do that?
Dave says: “No, I’m afraid we don’t.”
Mike: “Oh, then this wasn’t a prize?” Mike Frankl holds up a live New York City rat.
Uh, no. That wasn’t supposed to be a giveaway, but I guess he could keep it if he wants.
2. Kaitlyn Beauregard of Fitchburg, Massachusetts: Kaitlyn works at DipNDonuts. Is the coffee good? Oh, yes it is.
Question: “Can you pass along to Regis that I’m thinking of him?”
Dave: “I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you tell him yourself?” Dave then introduces Regis Philbin who is here with us tonight.
The camera goes to the guest entrance. Enters an elderly gentleman. It looks like the bypass added a few years to Mr. Regis. I wonder if they’ll need to hire an extra makeup person when he gets back. Regis waits for the applause to subside.
Regis; “I love you, Kathie Lee!”
Mia Togneri of Pleasantville, New York. She’s a pre-school teacher; 14 in a class; ages 3-4.
Question: “I’m having sort of a problem. Can I come up and show you?”
Dave invites her up.
Mia: “I’d like you to feel my hands.”
Dave: “Wow. They’re ice cold.”
Mia: “You’re darn right they’re cold. Turn up the heat, jackass!”
Mia returns to her seat.
And that’s what Dave gets for trying to be nice.
ACT 3 GARRY SHANDLING
Hey, welcome back Garry. It’s been 10 years! A problem? Not at all. It’s just that he now has something to plug . . . . the 4-disc DVD set of Not Just The Best of The Larry Sanders Show.
Before proceeding, Garry tells a little secret. He says of Dave, “You’re just the ‘givl’ing greatest.”
A lot has happened in the past 10 years. Garry mentions how Dave has a bypass and a child, while most people go in the other direction; have a child and then a bypass.,
And in that time, Garry has been given his eventual demise some thought. He’s always fooled himself into thinking that God won’t want him to leave the earth. Garry says he’s had two successful television shows and maybe God would shine on him and let him live forever but when the Pope died last year . . . . Garry realized there was no getting out of it. If God thinks the Pope needs to go, Garry realizes we’re all going to go.
Is Garry thinking of starting a family? Garry says if that’s true he better start within the next 6 hours. Garry says he has thought of starting a family when he’s 90; this way he could just get one nurse for everybody.
Garry likes to keep fit. He participated in a celebrity basketball game coached by NBA legend Jerry West. Garry was sent in to guard Whoopi Goldberg. She went on to score 60. West took out Garry and then had him guard Meryl Streep. Garry is proud to say he shut Streep down.
And Garry’s taken up boxing as a way to keep fit. He goes to the gym all the time. It’s right next to a synagogue. So last week he went to the gym . . . but walked in the wrong door. He got into his boxing gear and beat his opponent to a pulp. The crowd that gathered went wild. He soon realized he was beating up the rabbi. Oops. It was the most violent Passover service they ever had.
The Larry Sanders Show – one of my television viewing regrets is never having seen an episode of the Larry Sanders Show. It was on before I got the HBO. I’ve always heard it was very funny, especially working on a late night comedy variety talk show. I’ll be picking up the DVD set for my perusing while the networks televise their roster of reality shows.
ACT 4,6 THE TEUTULS; Paul and Paul Jr. They are the backbone to the tremendously popular American Chopper now on the TLC. What was the very first show like?
They admit to being shocked with the final product, having only first seen it on TV like everybody else. It was brutal. They wanted to be seen as true professional bike builders and what they saw was a half-hour of fighting and yelling and screaming. Dad got on the phone with Paul Jr. and said he was getting on a plane right now, flying to California, and give the producer the beating of his life. But when they learned that American Chopper did great with the audience, they calmed down.
The show has gone worldwide and recently went to Australia. Their tour guide? Russell Crowe. They ended up playing Rugby with Russell. I’m sure this is something they envisioned 5 years ago when the show first came on.
The Teutuls have a new book out, Orange County Choppers: The Tale of the Teutuls. Paul Sr. talks a lot about his drinking problems. Dave says, “You had trouble drinking . . . .” Paul corrects Dave; “No, I had trouble stopping.”
The guys have broke ground on a new headquarters which is going to be huge. They get visitors to their garage all the time from people all over the world. Once they get to the garage and give a quick look-around, they have nothing to do. They just hang around. So they are now building a bigger place with a big showroom and one way mirrors so the visitors can look in while the magic of bike-building takes place.
Dave asks if he could hang out if he came by for a visit. Dave was a fan of Beavis and Butthead when that was on TV and he always wanted to hand out with them. He thinks hanging out with the Teutuls would sorta be the same.
Where’s Mikey? Mikey Teutul is behind the scrim with their new bike, specifically for the music fan. We see the beauty of a bike that comes equipped with hand grips that look like microphones, speaker wheels, a working amp, and a guitar. Mikey demonstrates his talents on the guitar. Dave invites Felicia to take over and with Felicia on motorcycle-guitar, she and the band plays us into commercial. American Chopper – Thursday nights at 9:00 on the TLC.
ACT 5: Announce: “And now it’s time for ‘What You Won’t Be Seeing On Tonight’s Program!”
Cut to Tony Mendez backstage in a Keebler elf costume. Tony: (sad and angry) “I’ve been cut!” Announce: “Sorry, Tony, maybe next time. This has been ‘What You Won’t Be Seeing On Tonight’s Program.’ We’ll be right back.”
ACT 7 TOKYO POLICE CLUB: From their CD, “A Lesson in Crime,” Tokyo Police Club performed “Nature of the Experiment
And that was show for Thursday April 19, 2007.
I know nothing about doing taxes, but shouldn’t you file for an extension simply to let your accountant spend more time on it instead of his doing your taxes along with hundreds of others at the same time?
Oh, I knew this. I knew this a week ago and should have written it then. New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine was in a terrible car accident and received 11 broken ribs and a broken leg. He was not wearing a seatbelt. The driver of the official SUV, who was wearing a seatbelt, only received minor injuries. There has been much speculation as to why the accident occurred. Original reports had a red pickup truck veering back into traffic from the shoulder forcing another car to veer into the left lane causing the Governor’s SUV to go off the road. The report, I imagine, came from the Jersey State Trooper. The driver was a Jersey State Trooper. Hmmm.
This is what I thought happened, judging from what I see so many times on the West Side Highway. Governor Corzine had to attend a NON-EMERGENCY function. He was late. The driver flicked on his emergency lights and blared his sirens as he sped at a high speed down the highway. The created an unnecessary panic reaction from the other drivers. Meanwhile, as the Governor’s SUV sped by, other jerks jumped in behind to take advantage of the clearing created by the SUV. This scenario was creating a dangerous situation where none existed. One domino fell which started the fall of a bunch of other dominoes, ending with the Governor’s SUV going off the road.
I’ve always been tempted to follow these black SUVs as the beep and flash and turn on their siren during rush hour on the West Side Highway. I wanted to follow them to find out just what the emergency was. I always imagine it was only because it was getting close to lunch time.
Hey, politicians . . . live like us and then you will know what needs your attention. If the roads were cleared every time I needed to get some place, I would never think the traffic problem would need to be addressed.
And speaking of that, I haven’t seen the city’s Department of Transportation doing non-emergency work on the inbound lane during the morning rush lately. Good work, DOT! You finally heard me.
Thursday comic strip: “Rhymes With Orange”
The One-Day Seminar: Two middle-aged men sitting in a classroom. In the front of the class is another man loading a dishwasher with a female instructor looking on. On the blackboard is written the subject of the class: “The Right Way To Load a Dishwasher.”
Says one man to the other man, “My wife made me come, too.”
WRONG! From my experience, it’s the MEN who know how to correctly load a dishwasher. For instance, I like to put the utensils facing UP so the soapy dishwater has a better chance at getting to the used/food portion of the utensil. Plus, the drip-down during the rinse will not fall upon the half that goes into your mouth. BUT . . . this does not apply to sharp knives. Sharp knives are pointed down so you don’t jab yourself.
And that’s just one of the many rules I live by when loading a dishwasher.
I watched The Wonder Years on the ION Television channel last night. In this episode, Kevin was unsure on how to act upon his crush with Winnie.
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
- The wheat that produces a one-pound loaf of bread requires two tons of water to grow
- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
- For a deck of cards to be mixed up enough to play with properly, a deck should be shuffled at least 7 times.
- The nine of hearts playing card is considered the symbol of love
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It’s his birthday, from Chesapeake, Virginia, it’s Jim Kohler
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Garry Shandling; The Teutuls; and Tokyo Police Club. PLUS:The Late Show in 3-D; Iran’s Nuclear Neighborhood; 50 Years of Larry King; the FDA; and Who Asked For It?
“. . . and now, upright-walking primate . . . . David Letterman.”
ACT 1
There are only two shows worth watching on TV these days: “Mythbusters” on the Discovery Channel and American Chopper on the Learning Channel.” And once Dave figures out the TIVO, he’ll be able to watch those shows whenever he wants.
Hey, it’s 3-D time! Dave puts on his 3-D goggles and is amazed at the incredible 3-D images that appear. He picks up some pencils and tosses them at the camera. I imagine that if I were wearing the 3-D goggles, too, I probably would have ducked. Since I didn’t have the 3-D goggles, it didn’t seem like much.
The International Atomic Energy Agency released a chilling report that says Iran has begun producing nuclear fuel in its underground uranium-enrichment plant. Included in the report was a diagram of the plant. We take a look at a diagram Dave holds up. We see various buildings which make up the enrichment plant, including a Jamba Juice! Yes, even evil-doers like a tasty treat once in a while. Paul Shaffer wisely points out that the Jamba Juice is enriched with vitamins and flavor.
This is a milestone week for Larry King. He is celebrating his 50th year in broadcasting. To honor the broadcaster with this, Larry King: A Look Back. Announcer: “Larry King began his illustrious broadcasting career on May 1, 1957 at WIOD Radio in Miami Beach. Since then, he has interviewed over 40,000 guests, including every president since the Ford Administration. What’s even more amazing is that Larry has been legally dead since 1989.
This has been ‘Larry King: A Look Back.’”
The FDA announced yesterday it was expanding an earlier pet food recall to include yet another company. We see the announcement in full.
Announcer: “The Food and Drug Administration regretfully announces the expansion of an earlier nationwide recall to include products manufactured by Natural Balance Pet Foods. The recall now includes all products made with the company’s low-grade deer meat, such as venison and brown rice dog treats, venison and green pea dry cat food, and Arby’s roast beef sandwiches.
A message from the FDA.”
Hey, it’s 3-D time again. Dave puts on his 3-D goggles and we see what a non-goggled sees at a 3-D movie. Dave tosses some pencils at the camera and if you had the goggles it would have looked as if the pencils were coming right at you through the screen.
ACT 2 WHO ASKED FOR IT? – a microphone is set up in the audience . . . audience members ask Dave questions.
It’s Mike Frankl of Allentown, Pennsylvania:
Question: “Some shows leave gifts under the seats for a studio audience. Do you do that?
Dave says: “No, I’m afraid we don’t.”
Mike: “Oh, then this wasn’t a prize?” Mike Frankl holds up a live New York City rat.
Uh, no. That wasn’t supposed to be a giveaway, but I guess he could keep it if he wants.
2. Kaitlyn Beauregard of Fitchburg, Massachusetts: Kaitlyn works at DipNDonuts. Is the coffee good? Oh, yes it is.
Question: “Can you pass along to Regis that I’m thinking of him?”
Dave: “I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you tell him yourself?” Dave then introduces Regis Philbin who is here with us tonight.
The camera goes to the guest entrance. Enters an elderly gentleman. It looks like the bypass added a few years to Mr. Regis. I wonder if they’ll need to hire an extra makeup person when he gets back. Regis waits for the applause to subside.
Regis; “I love you, Kathie Lee!”
Mia Togneri of Pleasantville, New York. She’s a pre-school teacher; 14 in a class; ages 3-4.
Question: “I’m having sort of a problem. Can I come up and show you?”
Dave invites her up.
Mia: “I’d like you to feel my hands.”
Dave: “Wow. They’re ice cold.”
Mia: “You’re darn right they’re cold. Turn up the heat, jackass!”
Mia returns to her seat.
And that’s what Dave gets for trying to be nice.
ACT 3 GARRY SHANDLING
Hey, welcome back Garry. It’s been 10 years! A problem? Not at all. It’s just that he now has something to plug . . . . the 4-disc DVD set of Not Just The Best of The Larry Sanders Show.
Before proceeding, Garry tells a little secret. He says of Dave, “You’re just the ‘givl’ing greatest.”
A lot has happened in the past 10 years. Garry mentions how Dave has a bypass and a child, while most people go in the other direction; have a child and then a bypass.,
And in that time, Garry has been given his eventual demise some thought. He’s always fooled himself into thinking that God won’t want him to leave the earth. Garry says he’s had two successful television shows and maybe God would shine on him and let him live forever but when the Pope died last year . . . . Garry realized there was no getting out of it. If God thinks the Pope needs to go, Garry realizes we’re all going to go.
Is Garry thinking of starting a family? Garry says if that’s true he better start within the next 6 hours. Garry says he has thought of starting a family when he’s 90; this way he could just get one nurse for everybody.
Garry likes to keep fit. He participated in a celebrity basketball game coached by NBA legend Jerry West. Garry was sent in to guard Whoopi Goldberg. She went on to score 60. West took out Garry and then had him guard Meryl Streep. Garry is proud to say he shut Streep down.
And Garry’s taken up boxing as a way to keep fit. He goes to the gym all the time. It’s right next to a synagogue. So last week he went to the gym . . . but walked in the wrong door. He got into his boxing gear and beat his opponent to a pulp. The crowd that gathered went wild. He soon realized he was beating up the rabbi. Oops. It was the most violent Passover service they ever had.
The Larry Sanders Show – one of my television viewing regrets is never having seen an episode of the Larry Sanders Show. It was on before I got the HBO. I’ve always heard it was very funny, especially working on a late night comedy variety talk show. I’ll be picking up the DVD set for my perusing while the networks televise their roster of reality shows.
ACT 4,6 THE TEUTULS; Paul and Paul Jr. They are the backbone to the tremendously popular American Chopper now on the TLC. What was the very first show like?
They admit to being shocked with the final product, having only first seen it on TV like everybody else. It was brutal. They wanted to be seen as true professional bike builders and what they saw was a half-hour of fighting and yelling and screaming. Dad got on the phone with Paul Jr. and said he was getting on a plane right now, flying to California, and give the producer the beating of his life. But when they learned that American Chopper did great with the audience, they calmed down.
The show has gone worldwide and recently went to Australia. Their tour guide? Russell Crowe. They ended up playing Rugby with Russell. I’m sure this is something they envisioned 5 years ago when the show first came on.
The Teutuls have a new book out, Orange County Choppers: The Tale of the Teutuls. Paul Sr. talks a lot about his drinking problems. Dave says, “You had trouble drinking . . . .” Paul corrects Dave; “No, I had trouble stopping.”
The guys have broke ground on a new headquarters which is going to be huge. They get visitors to their garage all the time from people all over the world. Once they get to the garage and give a quick look-around, they have nothing to do. They just hang around. So they are now building a bigger place with a big showroom and one way mirrors so the visitors can look in while the magic of bike-building takes place.
Dave asks if he could hang out if he came by for a visit. Dave was a fan of Beavis and Butthead when that was on TV and he always wanted to hand out with them. He thinks hanging out with the Teutuls would sorta be the same.
Where’s Mikey? Mikey Teutul is behind the scrim with their new bike, specifically for the music fan. We see the beauty of a bike that comes equipped with hand grips that look like microphones, speaker wheels, a working amp, and a guitar. Mikey demonstrates his talents on the guitar. Dave invites Felicia to take over and with Felicia on motorcycle-guitar, she and the band plays us into commercial. American Chopper – Thursday nights at 9:00 on the TLC.
ACT 5: Announce: “And now it’s time for ‘What You Won’t Be Seeing On Tonight’s Program!”
Cut to Tony Mendez backstage in a Keebler elf costume. Tony: (sad and angry) “I’ve been cut!” Announce: “Sorry, Tony, maybe next time. This has been ‘What You Won’t Be Seeing On Tonight’s Program.’ We’ll be right back.”
ACT 7 TOKYO POLICE CLUB: From their CD, “A Lesson in Crime,” Tokyo Police Club performed “Nature of the Experiment
And that was show for Thursday April 19, 2007.
I know nothing about doing taxes, but shouldn’t you file for an extension simply to let your accountant spend more time on it instead of his doing your taxes along with hundreds of others at the same time?
Oh, I knew this. I knew this a week ago and should have written it then. New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine was in a terrible car accident and received 11 broken ribs and a broken leg. He was not wearing a seatbelt. The driver of the official SUV, who was wearing a seatbelt, only received minor injuries. There has been much speculation as to why the accident occurred. Original reports had a red pickup truck veering back into traffic from the shoulder forcing another car to veer into the left lane causing the Governor’s SUV to go off the road. The report, I imagine, came from the Jersey State Trooper. The driver was a Jersey State Trooper. Hmmm.
This is what I thought happened, judging from what I see so many times on the West Side Highway. Governor Corzine had to attend a NON-EMERGENCY function. He was late. The driver flicked on his emergency lights and blared his sirens as he sped at a high speed down the highway. The created an unnecessary panic reaction from the other drivers. Meanwhile, as the Governor’s SUV sped by, other jerks jumped in behind to take advantage of the clearing created by the SUV. This scenario was creating a dangerous situation where none existed. One domino fell which started the fall of a bunch of other dominoes, ending with the Governor’s SUV going off the road.
I’ve always been tempted to follow these black SUVs as the beep and flash and turn on their siren during rush hour on the West Side Highway. I wanted to follow them to find out just what the emergency was. I always imagine it was only because it was getting close to lunch time.
Hey, politicians . . . live like us and then you will know what needs your attention. If the roads were cleared every time I needed to get some place, I would never think the traffic problem would need to be addressed.
And speaking of that, I haven’t seen the city’s Department of Transportation doing non-emergency work on the inbound lane during the morning rush lately. Good work, DOT! You finally heard me.
Thursday comic strip: “Rhymes With Orange”
The One-Day Seminar: Two middle-aged men sitting in a classroom. In the front of the class is another man loading a dishwasher with a female instructor looking on. On the blackboard is written the subject of the class: “The Right Way To Load a Dishwasher.”
Says one man to the other man, “My wife made me come, too.”
WRONG! From my experience, it’s the MEN who know how to correctly load a dishwasher. For instance, I like to put the utensils facing UP so the soapy dishwater has a better chance at getting to the used/food portion of the utensil. Plus, the drip-down during the rinse will not fall upon the half that goes into your mouth. BUT . . . this does not apply to sharp knives. Sharp knives are pointed down so you don’t jab yourself.
And that’s just one of the many rules I live by when loading a dishwasher.
I watched The Wonder Years on the ION Television channel last night. In this episode, Kevin was unsure on how to act upon his crush with Winnie.
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
- The wheat that produces a one-pound loaf of bread requires two tons of water to grow
- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
- For a deck of cards to be mixed up enough to play with properly, a deck should be shuffled at least 7 times.
- The nine of hearts playing card is considered the symbol of love
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It’s his birthday, from Chesapeake, Virginia, it’s Jim Kohler
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Dave in 3-D • Iran's Uranium-Enrichment Plant • Larry King: A Look Back • A Message from the FDA • Dave in 3-D
