"...and now, a man who's middle name is Mitt . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1
I always like how Dave talks about our "new" mayor but can't remember his name, so Paul has to jump in to remind him that it's "Bloomberg." That started in 2002, I believe, by accident and it's been carried over each and every time.

Odd Dave: Dave looks absent-mindedly around the theater as if in a half-daze. It had something to do with the pre-show Q&A. I rarely hear a second of the pre-show Q&A and so am in the dark when it comes to Dave's referencing back to it. I will log that small snippet from the show to possibly use in a future piece requested by a writer. "I need a shot of Dave doing something odd or weird" will by the plea. I will pretend it'll take a lot of work but now that I log these moments, it's quite easy. But don't tell anyone . . . it's stuff like this that aids in my job security.

Special Program Announcement: Spider-Man 1&2 has earned over $1.5 billion. "Spider-Man 3" opens on Friday, May 4th and on that day, Spider-Man himself Tobey Maguire will NOT be a guest on our show. Mark your calendars. Tobey Maguire will NOT be here on May 4th to promote "Spider-Man 3."

Did you watch "The Early Show" Monday morning? Something interesting happened. We take a look at a clip of Julie Chen interviewing a dietician. After the clip, Dave asks, "Did you see it?" We take another look at something that takes place in the background. We supply a red arrow to point out the odd occurrence. We watch the clip again and there in the background . . . scurries a mouse! Yup, there was a live mouse on the set of "The Early Show." And that's just one of the reasons why they call it the Tiffany Network.

Dave is going to be on the "Live with Regis and Kelly" show Thursday morning to welcome Mr. Philbin back to the show. It'll be Regis's first day back after heart bypass surgery and they're doing everything they can to promote the show. We have one of their promos here tonight.
Announcer:

"Thursday on 'Live,' it's the day everybody's been waiting for as Regis returns after a six-week absence. Join Regis and his special first guest David Letterman. Plus: Log on to our website now to vote on whether Regis or Dave's heart will explode first and if it happens during the broadcast, you could win $10,000 and a trip to Disney's Epcot Center! 'Live with Regis and Kelly': Check your local listings for details."

ACT 2
Tobey Maguire update: He was here for "Spider-Man 1." He was here not here for "Spider-Man 2." He was here for "Seabiscuit" and "Seabiscuit 2."

Impressionist Week 2 - it's coming next week! Confirmed so far:
Rob Magnotti.
John Byner.
Reggie Reg.
Mike MacRae.
Dave placed the above in order for Monday thru Thursday but I don't know if that's official yet.

It's a beautiful day in New York City today; sunny, warm, breezy, just wonderful. We have our own Biff Henderson out on Broadway to play "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts?" While Dave talks to Biff, Biff suddenly swats himself in the face and nose trying to shoo away a flea or bug or some unknown New York City gnat. Dave asks if he is OK. Biff is surprised by the question: "You saw that?" Biff was thinking the camera went elsewhere when Paul re-sang the "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts?" theme. Biff is still bothered by the flying critter and mutters, "I hope it didn't go up my nose."
Dave asks Biff to find someone to play "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts?"
Behind Biff we see a gentleman hailing a cab. Biff approaches gent and gets his attention. The fellow turns and we see a familiar face. He calls himself Roger from Atlantic City. He's on his way home to the gambling town. Did he have fun in the city? "No," barks Roger. Dave asks, Why, did something fly up your nose?"
Biff asks Roger is he would like to play "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts?" Roger agrees a bit too quickly to the request. And what are we playing for?
Alan: "Hi, I'm Alan Kalter, TV's Dr. Malone. Tonight we're playing for a waffle maker!" Back to Biff he begins to cut Roger's pant leg. It turns out to be more of a struggle than anticipated and Biff, Chief Fumble-Thumbs, accidentally cuts Roger's leg. Blood starts to flow immediately as Roger falls to the street in obvious acting pain. There is blood everywhere. Poor Roger . . . but there are no losers on "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts." Girls? The Late Show models enter with the waffle maker. So it turns out not so bad for Roger after all.
And that's how we play, "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts."

ACT 3
DAVID HYDE PIERCE: What did Mr. Pierce do on this lovely day here in New York City? He spent the morning with Martha Stewart doing her show. The topic: "Composting and Worms." Let's picture that producers meeting: "OK, for April 24th who should we have on for the Composting and Worms show?" From the back, "Oh, I know . . . David Hyde Pierce!"

I missed much of the David Hyde Pierce segment. There was a last-second call for a new ACT 5 based on what was said earlier in the show.

They talked about dogs in New York City, and this year marks the 25th anniversary of David's Broadway debut. One day he was selling ties in Bloomingdales and the next he was appearing on Broadway. He had his parents in attendance for opening night. Afterward, he took mom and dad to Sardi's. While there, they got an early copy of the New York Times review, and it was not good. From there, they went over to the opening night party in Times Square. The place was completely empty. The help was putting away the dishes and folding up the tables. The only show people in the place were the writer and one other guy. Two weeks later, the show closed. But he was hooked on Broadway.
David is now starring in "Curtains," a musical comedy with lyrics and music by Kander and Ebb, who also wrote "Cabaret" and "Chicago." It's playing at the Al Hirshfeld Theater.

ACT 4
We're very pleased to have a special friend of the Late Show back with us this evening. Welcome, the President and CEO of 7-Eleven, Inc., Mr. Jim Keyes.
The CEO enters and stands center stage.
Mr. Jim Keyes: "Thanks, folks! It all started last July 11th - '7-Eleven' - when millions of people came into our stores, said, 'Dave sent me,' and received free hot dogs, muffins, and Big Gulps! Plus, ten lucky customers won brand new Hummers - all thanks to the generosity of that man right there, David Letterman." (Keyes applauds)
"Now, Dave and the Late Show are welcoming spring with a promotion that's even more exciting! Until the end of April, go into any participating 7-Eleven store and say 'Dave's springing for this one!' You'll receive a free bottle of Snapple iced tea! And say 'Triscuit Me' and get free box of everyone's favorite picnic snack, Triscuits! Now, while you're enjoying your free Snapple and Triscuits, check your bottle caps! If you find one marked with this symbol, (Six Flags logo) Congratulations! You've won one of a hundred grand prizes: a trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain in Los Angeles. So stop by your local 7-Eleven store, get your free Snapple and Triscuits, and you might be a lucky grand prize winner enjoying the vacation of a lifetime! Thanks again, Dave, and see you all at 7-Eleven!" (Keyes clasps his hands over head in triumph and then exits)
A bewildered Paul asks, "Dave, was that really the President of 7-Eleven?" Dave checks his blue card and mutters a hesitant and unconvincing, "Yeah."

ACT 5
IVANKA TRUMP: She's the Vice President of Development and Acquisitions For the Trump Organizations . . . and she's the daughter of Donald Trump and Ivana. I don't know why but I was sort of hoping for a dimwit. And after Ivanka's sit down with Dave, it's obvious that this was not the case. She's one sharp gal. She seems very smart and poised. And from a conversation I had earlier in the day with a staffer who knew her from college, Ivanka is very nice and polite. When it comes to raising children, whatever Donald and Ivana have done, they've done it right. That alone impresses me more than any building with the name "Trump" on it. As a dad, I know how hard it is to create good children. It's a lot of hard work and a whole lot of hope.

ACT 6
Alan Announce: "This is a Late Show Reminder! On Friday, May 4th, Spider-Man himself, Tobey Maguire, will NOT be a guest on the Late Show. Remember to NOT set your TIVO to record this exciting television event! We'll be right back."

ACT 7
CORRINE BAILEY RAE: From her new CD/DVD, "Live In London and New York," Corinne Bailey Rae performed "I'd Like To."

And that was our show for Tuesday, April 24, 2007.



So where were you when you heard about Rosie?

The President was here in New York City on Tuesday. Traffic was stopped cold, both vehicular and pedestrian. Boy oh boy, what great P.R. for the guy. Like I say, you can do anything you want and New Yorkers won't care . . . just don't screw up traffic. I've voted against presidential candidates because they've messed with my commute. And as for singer Enrique Iglesias, don't think I've forgotten how you stopped traffic to a crawl on the G.W. Bridge and all the way down the West Side Highway 10 years ago. You cost me 2 hours. I'll never buy one of your records. Never.

I'm listening to one of those classic rock stations on the radio on my drive in Tuesday morning. It's "Two for Tuesday" and the Beatles' "Hey, Jude" comes on. I listen to my history and wonder what song will be next. I think they'll go with a stronger, bolder, more rockish Beatles song to balance out the softer "Hey, Jude." I quickly come up with "Revolution," "Back in the USSR", and "Helter Skelter." I choose "Revolution" and somewhere in the back of my mind I seem to remember that "Revolution" was the flipside to "Hey, Jude" on the 45. I then think that was quite a 45; "Hey, Jude" on Side A and "Revolution" on Side B. Another great 45 I had was the Rolling Stones "Honky Tonk Woman" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want." This got me to thinking, "What was the greatest 45 of all time?" Any suggestions? Kids, ask your parents! By the way, "Hey, Jude" on the radio was followed by "Back in the USSR."

Last week I shared the sad news of my local watering hole, "The Depot," has shut down. It was close enough to walk to and did not offer ambience. It was what I wanted in a bar. But now it has shut down. There is another pub about a 1/2 mile away that I could also walk to if I had to called "Finn McCool's." I drove by it the other day . . . and it was shut down, too! Whoa! What's going on here? First, The Depot and now Finn McCool's? What is happening to the social scene in Sparkill, New York? I was doing the best to support these establishments but I can't do it alone. I need some help, so my fellow Sparkillers, we need to start going out more before we lose what little we have left.
And now that Finn McCool's is closed, where will I karaoke on Saturday night?

This isn't a good sign. I read this in Tuesday's "Across the USA" in the USA Today: "New Jersey: The state's witness protection program has run out of money."

-In 1946, the first toy commercial aired. It was for Mr. Potato Head
-Each of us generates five pounds of garbage a day; most of it is paper
-It takes a plastic container 50,000 years to start decomposing
-Before the 1800s, there were no separately designed shoes for right and left feet
-Pirates thought having an earring would improve their eyesight

It's time for "Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Get On The Show".
Monologue Joke:
"It's 'Turn Off Your TV Week' and tonight I'm afraid we're going to make that a whole lot easier for you."
This concludes another installment of, "Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Get On The Show."

Don't forget: Dave is on the Regis and Kelly show Thursday morning. Check your local listings.

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Key Largo, Florida, it's Mary Brady Ridgway.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER