" . . . . and now, the most ungainly mass of legs and arms ever strung on a single frame . . . David Letterman!

ACT 1
Dave shows off his prowess of flipping and catching pencils. He attempts this a number of times, which I missed. I just saw the tail end. I'll log it into my database under "pencil." Somewhere down the line, a writer will need that shot.

Did you hear? We had a bit of a fire this morning in the theater basement. Something with the air conditioner system. It's the second fire we've had here in the 14 years we've resided at 1697 Broadway. Our local fire house responded to take care of the minor blaze.

From last Thursday's Wahoo Gazette:

A one L llama is a holy man.
A 2 L llama is an animal.
What's a 3 L llama?
Answer: One heck of a big fire.

You may think the show starts right after Alan Kalter's opening announce. But no. We have a lot of fun before the cameras go on. During tonight's pre-show Q&A, a guy Dave talked to a guy from Scottsbluff, Nebraska. Dave once stayed at a hotel in Scottsbluff. Dave runs through his mental rolodex and recalls it was the Hampton Inn.

In an interview last night on FOX News, Rudy Giuliani criticized Hillary Clinton for her lack of experience. He has released this new campaign message to elaborate.
Announcer:

"Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified candidate to lead America but she's never run a state, a city, or even a business. Rudy Giuliani, on the other hand, has extensive experience running a city of 8 million people, supervising tens of thousands of public employees, and managing several dozen wives. Rudy: Still gettin' it done."

A new poll puts President Bush's approval rating at a new low. The White House issued this response.
Announce:

"According to the latest Reuters/Zogby poll, President Bush's approval rating has sunk to a new low of 24%. President Bush thinks this is incorrect, and advised Reuters and Zogby to double-check their addition. Otherwise, he'll have to send Dick Cheney over to do some 'subtraction.' Dick Cheney: Locked and Loaded."

Oh, and about rattle snakes . . . . "they always return to the den in which they were born." And to where do they return? To the Hampton Inn in Scottsbluff, Nebraska.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush: ". . . . where the opportunity to realize dreams is just as real in Panama City . . . . . .. . . . . . Panama!" Very funny.

ACT 2
RECALLED TOYS: We've all heard about the Chinese-made toys that were recalled due to lead. Unfortunately those weren't the only toys that have run into trouble lately. We have some of them here tonight.
-After consulting with OSHA, this was taken off the market: "Bob The Builder Forklift Accident Playset."
-Sometimes a classic design should just be left alone. Here's an example of an unwanted update: "Mr. Mashed Potato Head."

Our costume designer Sue Hum enters and stands by Dave's desk. Dave greets her. Sue responds. After a moment, Sue questions, "So? . . . . ."
Dave knows what this is all about.
DAVE: "Listen, Sue, with the fear and the excitement of the fire, I think I may have said some things out there that I didn't exactly mean . . . what I said . . . well, now . . . seems extremely unlikely. If I gave you the wrong impression about what might lie ahead for the two of us, I'm terribly sorry."
Sue, disgusted with the man in front of her, picks up Dave's coffee mug and throws it to the ground. She snarls, "Fine! I hear you're lousy in bed anyway."

Back to the recalled toys.
- Toys that glorify TV violence don't get very far. That's why you won't see "Rock 'em Sock 'Em 'The View' Co-Hosts." It's Hasselbeck and Walters in the squared circle.
- Focus groups with kids found that there was deep revulsion for this item: "The Kim Jong Il Troll Doll"
- Kids love art supplies, but legal action brought a hasty end to this set: "OJ Simpson's If I Drew It"
- Not every aspect of adulthood is good fantasy material for kids. Dave was glad to see this one go: "My First Hairpiece."
- Mattel misjudged the market when they introduced this disturbing item for girls: "Face Lift Barbie."

And 'dems da toys that's been recalled.

ACT 3
TOP TEN: Things Overheard At The Late Show Fire
8. "Does this count as the Late Show Christmas Party?
7. "Too bad the FUNNY Top Ten list was destroyed."
5. "No, Mr. Walker, we don't believe the cause was Dyn-O-Mite!"

REBECCA ROMIJN
She's a newlywed of 3 months. Rebecca is married to Jerry O'Connell, currently starring in ABC's "Carpoolers." And Rebecca is on the Emmy Award winning program, "Ugly Betty" also on ABC. Was it a big wedding? Rebecca says it was kept low-key, held at home with friends. No invitations were sent; only a phone call to attend a "special barbecue." Rebecca had some second thoughts, fearing her friends would show up to her "special barbecue" dressed for a . . . barbecue. She then decided that would be fine. Who cares? She was getting married and everything else would be fine with her.
Rebecca and Jerry live in a very rural part of California and discovered she lives right in the heart of rattlesnake country. On a recent hike, she came across a huge rattlesnake. The rattler was the size of a . . . I forgot what she said, but how about "a loaf of bread"? Let's pretend she said the rattler at the end of its tail was the size of a loaf of bread. She ran all the way home and right to the computer. She wanted to find the life span of a rattler, because this one was huge and hopefully full grown. A rattler can live to 30 years. She did more reading and found that if you leave a dead snake in your yard it'll scare away other snakes who may want to visit. They found a dead snake and chopped it in half. They put one snake on one end of the yard and flung the other half to the other side of the yard. Unfortunately, that half got stuck in a tree before it could land. The half snake now hangs like an ornament. "Ugly Betty" - 8:00 PM Thursday nights on ABC.

ACT 4
Before the show, Alan Kalter asked if he could say a few words about today's fire.
ALAN: "Thanks, DL. Today's fire at the Late Show was a turning point for yours truly. How? It's led me to re-evaluate every aspect of my life. It's made me rethink how I treat people. And it's motivated me to place greater emphasis on leading a more meaningful and fulfilling existence. That's why I'm pleased to announce I'm slashing prices on the complete line of videos, games, novelties, and toys at KalterWorld.com No matter what you're into at KalterWorld.com, your satisfaction . . . and I do mean satisfaction . . . is guaranteed. But don't take it from me. Listen to this happy customer."
Johhny D of Springfield, Illinois enters. JOHNNY D: "Today's fire at the Late Show has led to such tremendous savings, it won't burn a hole in your wallet. Thank you, KalterWorld.com." FREEZE
ANNOUNCE: "KalterWorld.com. You number one source for videos, games, novelties, and toys in all varieties!"

ACT 5
Announce: "Guests of the Late Show stay at the Hampton Inn and Suites in lovely Scottsbluff, Nebraska. Perfect for your corporate or family event, the Hampton Inn and Suites in Scottsbluff, Nebraska offers comfort and value. Have fun, and remember . . . the place is crawlin' with rattlers! We'll be right back."

ACT 6
JIMMIE WALKER
Jimmie recently went to the TV Land Awards. His "Good Times" show is now 30 years old and according to Jimmie, anyone from the show who could still walk under their own power was invited to attend. Jimmie had a good time. He enjoyed some "Caucasian wine," lobster, shrimp, and got lots of free stuff in the swag room. And then some time later he was invited to attend the BET Black Entertainment Awards. Jimmie says this Awards show was a little different from the TV Land Awards. He received an e-mail inviting him to the BET Awards. The e-mail went something like this:
"We're looking forward to seeing if. If you have any weapons, please let us know. There will be a pat-down search on every one. If you come with a posse, please limit it to two. Be advised, there will be a magnometer security system in place manned by police officers and a security force."
All that was bad enough, but when he got thirsty Jimmie looked for a drink. He was told, "We're out of drink right now." Food? He was told, "No food, but we got some coming." He was told there was fruit in the back. Jimmie went for some fruit. It was watermelon! Watermelon at the BET Awards. And when the food finally arrived . . . Popeyes Chicken! Jimmie saw a plate of Popeyes being carried by and went to grab a leg. His hand was slapped and was scolded, "Don't eat that chicken! That's for Snoop!"
And what's with young Hollywood? Jimmie says he saw the recent performance by Britney Spears and he thought he was at Sea World. And how bad is Britney? Her kids have been sent to live with a guy with no income! Kevin Federline has custody of the kids! How bad is it for Britney? The let Michael Jackson keep his own kids! Yikes.
You can see more of Jimmie at the Sanford & Sons Comedy Club in Kansas City, Kansas.

ACT 7
LEANN RIMES: From her new CD, "Family," Ms. Rimes performed "Nothin' Better To Do."
Hey, LeAnn is all grown up. I remember her here on the show back in 1996. She was just a kid. I was so impressed with her that I went out and bought her CD "Blue."

And that was our show for Wednesday, October 17, 2007.



Ever have a week where it seems like someone slipped an extra day in there somewhere? This week seems to be taking a bit longer than usual.

It's a favorite segment here at the Wahoo Gazette: Late Night The Day They Were Born! LeAnn Rimes was born on August 28, 1982. So what happened on Late Night the day LeAnn Rimes was born? Nothing, it was a Saturday. But what happened on Late Night on the show previous to her birth? Late Show #107; Thursday August 26, 1982:
- Viewer Mail with Howard into bottomless pit; Carole King; Richard Lewis, and Melman Bus Plug
And that's What Happened on Late Night the Show Previous to When LeAnn Rimes Was Born!
The show was repeated on NBC on November 25, 1982 and on A&E June 30, 1992.

Phew! Thank goodness we all made it. Wednesday morning in the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building we had a small fire in the basement. An announcement was made alerting us that this was not a drill. I quickly made it to the 12th floor stairway, feeling the door with the back of my hand to determine if there were flames on the other side.
The coolness of the door told me it was OK to proceed. We made to street level and waited for further instructions. You know, we grow older every day but no matter what age we are, we still act the same waiting out a fire drill. We could be in junior high school; we could be at work and approaching AARP-age . . . when we are outside waiting it feels like we are getting away with something. It's fun. We talk to people we don't usually talk to. We tell simple jokes about the fire and what would happen if the building burned to the ground. And a lot of what you saw in tonight's Top Ten WAS overheard during the morning's fire.

Is Joe Torre coming back as Yankee manager? It's all the talk around these parts, but I'm more than a bit surprised that there's been no mention of it being the final year of Yankee Stadium. You want the Stadium to go out with some class. Joe Torre will just about guarantee that, win or lose. I would think the team would want the final year of the Stadium to include Torre, Mariano, and Posada.
But really, whether Torre returns or not, it certainly doesn't call for the extensive coverage it is receiving.

Hold it! Are we all supposed to forget that Bill O'Reilly was accused of phone calls of sexual harassment? Did we all forget that happened? And it was eventually settled out of court? Hmm, I just remembered that.

Dang it! They went ahead and did it. Annie's, a little snack shack in Stony Point, New York, was a real old fashioned eatin' joint. They had a walk up window so you could eat outside on the picnic tables and feed quarters into the oldies juke box. Inside was a warm, fun-loving restaurant with old photos, a small bar, and great burgers. Well, it's been rumored that Annie's was going to be torn down and replaced with . . . . a bank. Like we really need another bank. And then I saw in the newspaper the other day that the demolishing had started. Annie's is gone. It's all gone. I wanted to make one more trip there with my girls before it went down but I waited too long. And that's that. Goodbye, Annie's. You were one of a kind. Hello, bank, there's another one just like you across the street and another one down the block in the strip mall. We needed another bank like we need another reality TV show. Yeeeech.

WAHOO PHILOSOPHY CORNER
Tonight's featured Philosopher: Aristotle
-"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."
-"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-"Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient"

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
She's just celebrated a birthday milestone yesterday, happy birthday to the lovely Joan Ray.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER