DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Dr. Phil; Lena Headey; and Gary Allan. PLUS:The Patriots' Press Conference; Coming Up on Action News; an Asteroid; More from Lt. Easton; a Nude Airline; a Top Ten List; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and Let’s Talk About the Candidates.
“ . . . and now, trash-talking rabbi . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the pre-show Q&A, a woman presented Dave with a gift made by her 17-year-old son back home in Birmingham, Michigan. Dave shows off his brand new gold hat. Dave asks the woman what her son’s name is. She gravelly shouts back his name. Dave laughs and says, “That explains why he’s home making gold hats.” Dave presents the Gold Hat to Paul, who is more apt to wear the gold-plated chapeau. Paul puts it on and it works for him. I like it.
Yesterday, the New England Patriots held a press conference in Arizona, home state of the Super Bowl XLII. There were some odd people there. We take a look at the clip. Announce: “During yesterday’s media day, a strange woman in a wedding dress asked Tom Brady to marry her. The bizarre woman? Well, it’s none other than America’s favorite loon . . . Sean Young.
Tune in to the Doritos Super Bowl halftime show to find out what other crazy crap Sean has up her sleeve! Sean Young --- I do anything stupid last night?”
Dave then looks into the camera to his left: “Coming up later this hour, you’ll meet a 99-year-old baker who’s making a lot of dough. That’s later on ‘Action News’.”
Don’t ask. I have no idea.
This week, an asteroid passed unusually close to the Earth. Astronomers say it was one of the best chances we’ll ever have to see an asteroid up close, but if you missed it, you’re in luck. Announce: “On Tuesday, a passing asteroid flew within 350,000 miles of the Earth, offering a rare chance to see one of these giant slabs of rock up close. And if you like looking at giants slabs of rock up close, visit the unemployment office today around two as Fred Thompson drops by to pick up his check.”
Phone call for Mr. Letterman. Phone call for Mr. Letterman. Dave picks up the phone as millions at home yell, “DON’T!” On the phone is Lt. Len Easton of the California Highway Patrol. We hear the transmission of something going terribly wrong on the highways of California.
I don’t know if this makes Dave feel better or not, but he isn’t the only one getting taken in by Lt. Len Easton. Dave was watching “Talk Sex with Sue Johanson” this morning on the Oxygen Network . . . . for research, he claims . . . . and saw this.
We see Sue Johanson taking a phone call. On the other end is more of Lt. Len Easton.
This man has to be stopped. Where is Kevin Martin when you need him?
Yes, sometimes you need to Google to get the jokes.
A German travel agency is offering special nudist flights. Before Dave can go any further, Alan interrupts.
Alan: “Excuse me, Underpants!” DAVE: “Yes, Alan.” Alan: “I think I’ll handle this one. Feast your eyes, America!”
Roll vt – we see a naked Alan on a nudist flight.
Alan from his seat on the airline: “When I heard about this nude airline, I knew I had to try it. But when I called, they were all booked, so I decided to visit my in-laws in Detroit.”
Camera widens to reveal Alan is the only naked passenger on the flight. Creepy. And it was not at all a “feast.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES President Bush: “I think it’s a way . . . . it’s . . . . it’s a . . . . it’s a way . . .”
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Questions To Ask Yourself Before Flying the Naked Airline – a German travel agency is offering special flights for passengers who want to fly in the nude. The crew will remain clothed for safety reasons. #10. “What if my tray table isn’t the only thing in an upright position?” #2. “Is this really the kind of flight I should be taking with mom?”
My biggest surprise about this list: No AerLingus jokes.
It’s a very popular segment on the show; it’s something we call, “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
Dave instructs Biff to find someone in the audience. He picks a guy. DAVE: “What’s your name, sir?” DON: “Don Kermin.” DAVE: “Nice to meet you, Don. I’m sure you know the big story. John Edwards dropped out of the race today and . . . .”
We hear a moan and a groan from the audience. This isn’t all that uncommon, but this moan and groan sounded a little different from usual. A few rows behind Don we see a guy stand up with great disappointment on his face. Again, this isn’t too uncommon, but this was a little different. GUY #2: “Wait a minute! What did you say about John Edwards?” DAVE: “He didn’t do well in Florida, so he ended his campaign.” GUY #2: “No! That’s not true! That’s impossible. No, it can’t be!!” The guy is obviously in anguish. He stumbles out towards the back of the theater. A CBS Page tries to intercept him. GUY #2 knees the CBS Page in the nuts. Another Page enters and GUY #2 elbows him in the chin. A third CBS Page approaches and takes a swing at the audience member. This isn’t all that rare, either, but in this time we caught it on tape.
The audience guy ducks the punch and throws the Page over the banister. The guy then exits out the back door. My guess is he was a John Edwards supporter.
Back to DAVE: “I’m glad I didn’t mention that Rudy Giuliani also dropped out.” GUY #1, still at the microphone: “Rudy Giuliani dropped out? Oh, God, no! No!” GUY #1, greatly disappointed and in distress, stumbles out the back of the theatre. He comes across a CBS Page assisting the other injured Pages and kicks him in the face. GUY #1 exits out the back door. My guess is he was a Rudy Giuliani fan. No, no, let me expand on that. My guess is he was a Rudy Giuliani fan who can’t act.
Unfortunately, because of the events that transpired, there is no time left for “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
ACT 3:
Dave has some gifts for 17-year-old son of woman from Birmingham, Michigan in the audience. It’s a bag full of good LATE SHOW loot.
DR. PHIL
It looks like the good doctor lost some weight. He must have followed the advice in his book, right? Nope. He got sick. That’s just about the only fail-proof weight loss system I know. Get sick. Sure, the weight loss is temporary but you’ll look great except for your pale white skin.
Dr. Phil believes he had viral encephalitis. He was sick for 3 weeks. The upside was the diagnosis was treated with morphine. Ever have the morphine? Yowza! Dr. Phil says that one second you’re in this terrible extreme pain, and then when the morphine kicks in, it’s ‘everybody’s your friend!’
Dave figures Dr. Phil must have come down with this right after visiting us back in October, right before the writers strike. Dr. Phil says it started soon after that, then asks about Dave’s ‘forced practice retirement.’ The doctor mentions Dave’s beard and imagined that Dave must have gone “zoo-‘djoy.’” What? Dave isn’t sure if he heard Dr. Phil right. (to decipher ‘djoy’, simply look to the left of each letter in ‘djoy’ on your keyboard.) Paul imagines it is a medical scientific term he isn’t familiar with.
Zoo-djoy?
The writers strike is the longest Dave has been away from a nightly show in 15 years. He explains that we at the LATE SHOW don’t get full vacations, like the whole summer; we only get breaks. . . . a week here . . . maybe a rare two weeks there . . so the two months without shows was, as Dr. Phil explains, a forced practice retirement. Dave kept busy during that time by growing a beard.
When we come back from commercial, Dave has a dictionary sitting at the desk. He opens up to the Z’s and credits Dr. Phil for being dead-on with the medical term he used earlier in the show.
From the dictionary, Dave reads:
“Zoo-‘djoy’ --- noun --- to go crazy like a ‘givl’-ing zoo animal.”
Big laugh from Dr. Phil. A satisfied shack backstage sighs with a smile (see below).
So what’s the deal with the controversy? Hooboy, the controversy. Dr. Phil is more than happy to explain the Britney thing since he hasn’t had the chance previously. Of course he’s being facetious. Dr. Phil explains what happened, speaking very highly of the Spears family in the process.
At first, Dave saw Britney as just another young goofball starlet who was easy to poke fun at. Her behavior was just something that young goofball starlets do. It was almost fun-like. But now it doesn’t seem so fun anymore. Her problems appear to be more serious than first thought.
Dr. Phil’s “Dr. Phil” is now in its 6th season and on February 11th will celebrate his 1,000th show! Congratulations, Dr. Phil.
ACT 5: Announce: “If you’re in New York City and would like your very own gold hat, come on down to Empire Gold Hats. Located in the heart of Times Square, Empire Gold Hats is THE place for all your gold hat needs. Come on down today!
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: LENA HEADEY: She’s the new Terminator gal. Lena was born in Bermuda, then moved to Somerset, England, before making her final move to Los Angeles for her new series, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles just in time for the writers strike. Her father was a police officer from Yorkshire who was shipped out to Bermuda to uphold the law there for 5 years. It is here where Lena was born and spent her first 5 years, though she has no memory of it. The family then moved to Somerset in the southwest of England. And on what body of water does Somerset lie? Is it the Irish Sea? She is not sure and only knows it was always cold and wet. I missed the rest of the segment as I searched to find on what water Somerset lies.
Somerset, in the southwest of England, lies on the Bristol Channel and some parts lie on the River Severn.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – Mondays at 9PM on FOX.
ACT 7: GARY ALLAN: From his new CD, “Living Hard,” Gary Allan performed “Watching Airplanes.” Good sound.
And that was our show for Wednesday January 30, 2008.
A minute or two after Dr. Phil said “Zoo-‘djoy’”, the Stangels (LATE SHOW headwriters) decided to put that word in a dictionary. We had two dictionaries in the shack. A bigger, more impressive black dictionary and a red, smaller dictionary. We went with the smaller, red dictionary because it would “read” better on camera when Dave held the book. It was a lot easier to read the word “Dictionary” in white letters on the red background of the dictionary than it was to read the black-on-black, hard to read “Dictionary” on the bigger dictionary.
I then started to type up the definition onto a blue card to slip into the dictionary for Dave to read. Then it was suggested that we should print the definition onto a white piece of paper from the computer and tape it in the dictionary so it would look as if Dave was reading from the actual dictionary and not from a blue card. We quickly printed out the definition and cut it down to size. We placed a blue card in the dictionary to signal the page. Justin Stangel ran out with the dictionary during the commercial break while Eric Stangel phoned down to the Control Room of what was being pitched. At home, the commercial break lasted 3 or so minutes. When we keep a guest on for another segment like we did with Dr. Phil, our “break” between segments may be only a minute. There is no need for us to sit around for 3 minutes. That’s your job. Justin got out to Dave with 30 seconds left in our abbreviated break. He quickly showed Dave the definition and then ran away. We didn’t know if Dave would do the joke until we saw him sitting at the desk with the dictionary on his lap. This was all slapped together in about two minutes with a handful of people suggesting how to make it just a little bit better. I think it turned out just fine . . . . . . except for the fact that “Zoo-‘djoy’” may be a verb and not a noun. Dr. Phil: “You must have went ‘zoo-‘djoy’.”
Zoo-djoy --- noun --- to go crazy like a ‘givl’ing zoo animal.
For those of you looking for the 2008 Wahoo Archives, please be patient. I have the city’s best mechanics looking into it. There’s a loose bolt or something. Perhaps a frayed wire.
Did you ever open a car door using a wire clothes hanger? It’s a lost art, probably because of the new interior button locks in cars these days. Back in the day, a door lock botton had a knob on the end so it was easier to pull up by hand. You used to have to unlock the door by hand; reaching over your shoulder to yank the button. If you accidentally locked your keys in the car, one way to gain entry was by using a wire hanger. You would undo the hanger so it was one straight line. You would bend one end to create a small hook and then slide the hook-end of the hanger through the small gap along the front door. You would hook the interior button with the hanger and give it a pull to unlock the door. With practice, you could do this in seconds. In fact, my friend had lost his door key to his Vega. He kept a wire hanger wrapped around his rear bumper. Whenever he needed to lock the car, he would open it later with the hanger. He would be able to do this within 5 seconds. But today, it’s another art lost.
Hey, I almost completed the Sunday New York Times Magazine Crossword Puzzle this weekend. I never came close to finishing it before.
If you didn’t read the Wahoo Gazette, you’d miss stuff like that.
This morning I listened to Minneapolis sports talk radio station KFAN on the internet to hear what they had to say about the Johann Santana trade to the Mets. They played highlights of Santana’s career with “The Love I Lost” music playing underneath. I don’t think they were too happy. It was known for awhile that Santana would be leaving, but the fans are upset with what they got for him. No established major leaguers; no #1 minor league prospect. I’m glad the Mets got him, mostly because that kept the Red Sox from getting him. And I’m happy to have the Yankee pitching kids still on the team: Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes, and Ian Kennedy. The worst thing that could have happened to the Twins was for them to keep Santana and plan on trading him at the trading deadline in July . . . and then find themselves 2 games out of first. They couldn’t trade him then, and then they would get nothing for him at the end of the season.
For Christmas, I bought one of those GPS thingamajigs for my wife’s car. It was the Garmin 200W which I got online for $250 from CircuitCity. In stores, it went for $299.
And now a month later, I’m still checking the brochures for the price of that item. I want to know, “Do prices come down after Christmas?”
So far, the price has remained constant. It’s still at $299 in stores. I did see it at $250 in one store but that sale came and went real quick. If you’re scoring at home, judging from my own observations, prices do not come down on big ticket items after Christmas.
When I spend that much money on something, I like to make the experience last as long as possible. That’s why I’m still checking the price a month later. And, yes, I will be checking the price for the Garmin 200W next December, too.
It looks like the Curse of the Bambino is now dead. The Boston Red Sox sold the great Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees back in 1919. It took the Red Sox another 85 years after that to win a World Series. They’ve now won two in the past 3 years. The Curse is officially squashed. But what about the Curse of Adam Vinatieri? The Patriots let him get away in 2006. And the Patriots have not won a Super Bowl since they lost him. Is there a Curse of Adam Vinatieri? Is there? Yes, Boston, I would be very afraid. This week when your head hits the pillow, before you fall into a deep sleep, keep repeating: “The Curse of Adam Vinatieri . . . The Curse of Adam Vinatieri . . . The Curse of Adam Vinatieri.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Sunnyvale, California, it’s Karen Casner.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Dr. Phil; Lena Headey; and Gary Allan. PLUS:The Patriots' Press Conference; Coming Up on Action News; an Asteroid; More from Lt. Easton; a Nude Airline; a Top Ten List; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and Let’s Talk About the Candidates.
“ . . . and now, trash-talking rabbi . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the pre-show Q&A, a woman presented Dave with a gift made by her 17-year-old son back home in Birmingham, Michigan. Dave shows off his brand new gold hat. Dave asks the woman what her son’s name is. She gravelly shouts back his name. Dave laughs and says, “That explains why he’s home making gold hats.” Dave presents the Gold Hat to Paul, who is more apt to wear the gold-plated chapeau. Paul puts it on and it works for him. I like it.
Yesterday, the New England Patriots held a press conference in Arizona, home state of the Super Bowl XLII. There were some odd people there. We take a look at the clip. Announce: “During yesterday’s media day, a strange woman in a wedding dress asked Tom Brady to marry her. The bizarre woman? Well, it’s none other than America’s favorite loon . . . Sean Young.
Tune in to the Doritos Super Bowl halftime show to find out what other crazy crap Sean has up her sleeve! Sean Young --- I do anything stupid last night?”
Dave then looks into the camera to his left: “Coming up later this hour, you’ll meet a 99-year-old baker who’s making a lot of dough. That’s later on ‘Action News’.”
Don’t ask. I have no idea.
This week, an asteroid passed unusually close to the Earth. Astronomers say it was one of the best chances we’ll ever have to see an asteroid up close, but if you missed it, you’re in luck. Announce: “On Tuesday, a passing asteroid flew within 350,000 miles of the Earth, offering a rare chance to see one of these giant slabs of rock up close. And if you like looking at giants slabs of rock up close, visit the unemployment office today around two as Fred Thompson drops by to pick up his check.”
Phone call for Mr. Letterman. Phone call for Mr. Letterman. Dave picks up the phone as millions at home yell, “DON’T!” On the phone is Lt. Len Easton of the California Highway Patrol. We hear the transmission of something going terribly wrong on the highways of California.
I don’t know if this makes Dave feel better or not, but he isn’t the only one getting taken in by Lt. Len Easton. Dave was watching “Talk Sex with Sue Johanson” this morning on the Oxygen Network . . . . for research, he claims . . . . and saw this.
We see Sue Johanson taking a phone call. On the other end is more of Lt. Len Easton.
This man has to be stopped. Where is Kevin Martin when you need him?
Yes, sometimes you need to Google to get the jokes.
A German travel agency is offering special nudist flights. Before Dave can go any further, Alan interrupts.
Alan: “Excuse me, Underpants!” DAVE: “Yes, Alan.” Alan: “I think I’ll handle this one. Feast your eyes, America!”
Roll vt – we see a naked Alan on a nudist flight.
Alan from his seat on the airline: “When I heard about this nude airline, I knew I had to try it. But when I called, they were all booked, so I decided to visit my in-laws in Detroit.”
Camera widens to reveal Alan is the only naked passenger on the flight. Creepy. And it was not at all a “feast.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES President Bush: “I think it’s a way . . . . it’s . . . . it’s a . . . . it’s a way . . .”
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Questions To Ask Yourself Before Flying the Naked Airline – a German travel agency is offering special flights for passengers who want to fly in the nude. The crew will remain clothed for safety reasons. #10. “What if my tray table isn’t the only thing in an upright position?” #2. “Is this really the kind of flight I should be taking with mom?”
My biggest surprise about this list: No AerLingus jokes.
It’s a very popular segment on the show; it’s something we call, “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
Dave instructs Biff to find someone in the audience. He picks a guy. DAVE: “What’s your name, sir?” DON: “Don Kermin.” DAVE: “Nice to meet you, Don. I’m sure you know the big story. John Edwards dropped out of the race today and . . . .”
We hear a moan and a groan from the audience. This isn’t all that uncommon, but this moan and groan sounded a little different from usual. A few rows behind Don we see a guy stand up with great disappointment on his face. Again, this isn’t too uncommon, but this was a little different. GUY #2: “Wait a minute! What did you say about John Edwards?” DAVE: “He didn’t do well in Florida, so he ended his campaign.” GUY #2: “No! That’s not true! That’s impossible. No, it can’t be!!” The guy is obviously in anguish. He stumbles out towards the back of the theater. A CBS Page tries to intercept him. GUY #2 knees the CBS Page in the nuts. Another Page enters and GUY #2 elbows him in the chin. A third CBS Page approaches and takes a swing at the audience member. This isn’t all that rare, either, but in this time we caught it on tape.
The audience guy ducks the punch and throws the Page over the banister. The guy then exits out the back door. My guess is he was a John Edwards supporter.
Back to DAVE: “I’m glad I didn’t mention that Rudy Giuliani also dropped out.” GUY #1, still at the microphone: “Rudy Giuliani dropped out? Oh, God, no! No!” GUY #1, greatly disappointed and in distress, stumbles out the back of the theatre. He comes across a CBS Page assisting the other injured Pages and kicks him in the face. GUY #1 exits out the back door. My guess is he was a Rudy Giuliani fan. No, no, let me expand on that. My guess is he was a Rudy Giuliani fan who can’t act.
Unfortunately, because of the events that transpired, there is no time left for “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
ACT 3:
Dave has some gifts for 17-year-old son of woman from Birmingham, Michigan in the audience. It’s a bag full of good LATE SHOW loot.
DR. PHIL
It looks like the good doctor lost some weight. He must have followed the advice in his book, right? Nope. He got sick. That’s just about the only fail-proof weight loss system I know. Get sick. Sure, the weight loss is temporary but you’ll look great except for your pale white skin.
Dr. Phil believes he had viral encephalitis. He was sick for 3 weeks. The upside was the diagnosis was treated with morphine. Ever have the morphine? Yowza! Dr. Phil says that one second you’re in this terrible extreme pain, and then when the morphine kicks in, it’s ‘everybody’s your friend!’
Dave figures Dr. Phil must have come down with this right after visiting us back in October, right before the writers strike. Dr. Phil says it started soon after that, then asks about Dave’s ‘forced practice retirement.’ The doctor mentions Dave’s beard and imagined that Dave must have gone “zoo-‘djoy.’” What? Dave isn’t sure if he heard Dr. Phil right. (to decipher ‘djoy’, simply look to the left of each letter in ‘djoy’ on your keyboard.) Paul imagines it is a medical scientific term he isn’t familiar with.
Zoo-djoy?
The writers strike is the longest Dave has been away from a nightly show in 15 years. He explains that we at the LATE SHOW don’t get full vacations, like the whole summer; we only get breaks. . . . a week here . . . maybe a rare two weeks there . . so the two months without shows was, as Dr. Phil explains, a forced practice retirement. Dave kept busy during that time by growing a beard.
When we come back from commercial, Dave has a dictionary sitting at the desk. He opens up to the Z’s and credits Dr. Phil for being dead-on with the medical term he used earlier in the show.
From the dictionary, Dave reads:
“Zoo-‘djoy’ --- noun --- to go crazy like a ‘givl’-ing zoo animal.”
Big laugh from Dr. Phil. A satisfied shack backstage sighs with a smile (see below).
So what’s the deal with the controversy? Hooboy, the controversy. Dr. Phil is more than happy to explain the Britney thing since he hasn’t had the chance previously. Of course he’s being facetious. Dr. Phil explains what happened, speaking very highly of the Spears family in the process.
At first, Dave saw Britney as just another young goofball starlet who was easy to poke fun at. Her behavior was just something that young goofball starlets do. It was almost fun-like. But now it doesn’t seem so fun anymore. Her problems appear to be more serious than first thought.
Dr. Phil’s “Dr. Phil” is now in its 6th season and on February 11th will celebrate his 1,000th show! Congratulations, Dr. Phil.
ACT 5: Announce: “If you’re in New York City and would like your very own gold hat, come on down to Empire Gold Hats. Located in the heart of Times Square, Empire Gold Hats is THE place for all your gold hat needs. Come on down today!
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: LENA HEADEY: She’s the new Terminator gal. Lena was born in Bermuda, then moved to Somerset, England, before making her final move to Los Angeles for her new series, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles just in time for the writers strike. Her father was a police officer from Yorkshire who was shipped out to Bermuda to uphold the law there for 5 years. It is here where Lena was born and spent her first 5 years, though she has no memory of it. The family then moved to Somerset in the southwest of England. And on what body of water does Somerset lie? Is it the Irish Sea? She is not sure and only knows it was always cold and wet. I missed the rest of the segment as I searched to find on what water Somerset lies.
Somerset, in the southwest of England, lies on the Bristol Channel and some parts lie on the River Severn.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – Mondays at 9PM on FOX.
ACT 7: GARY ALLAN: From his new CD, “Living Hard,” Gary Allan performed “Watching Airplanes.” Good sound.
And that was our show for Wednesday January 30, 2008.
A minute or two after Dr. Phil said “Zoo-‘djoy’”, the Stangels (LATE SHOW headwriters) decided to put that word in a dictionary. We had two dictionaries in the shack. A bigger, more impressive black dictionary and a red, smaller dictionary. We went with the smaller, red dictionary because it would “read” better on camera when Dave held the book. It was a lot easier to read the word “Dictionary” in white letters on the red background of the dictionary than it was to read the black-on-black, hard to read “Dictionary” on the bigger dictionary.
I then started to type up the definition onto a blue card to slip into the dictionary for Dave to read. Then it was suggested that we should print the definition onto a white piece of paper from the computer and tape it in the dictionary so it would look as if Dave was reading from the actual dictionary and not from a blue card. We quickly printed out the definition and cut it down to size. We placed a blue card in the dictionary to signal the page. Justin Stangel ran out with the dictionary during the commercial break while Eric Stangel phoned down to the Control Room of what was being pitched. At home, the commercial break lasted 3 or so minutes. When we keep a guest on for another segment like we did with Dr. Phil, our “break” between segments may be only a minute. There is no need for us to sit around for 3 minutes. That’s your job. Justin got out to Dave with 30 seconds left in our abbreviated break. He quickly showed Dave the definition and then ran away. We didn’t know if Dave would do the joke until we saw him sitting at the desk with the dictionary on his lap. This was all slapped together in about two minutes with a handful of people suggesting how to make it just a little bit better. I think it turned out just fine . . . . . . except for the fact that “Zoo-‘djoy’” may be a verb and not a noun. Dr. Phil: “You must have went ‘zoo-‘djoy’.”
Zoo-djoy --- noun --- to go crazy like a ‘givl’ing zoo animal.
For those of you looking for the 2008 Wahoo Archives, please be patient. I have the city’s best mechanics looking into it. There’s a loose bolt or something. Perhaps a frayed wire.
Did you ever open a car door using a wire clothes hanger? It’s a lost art, probably because of the new interior button locks in cars these days. Back in the day, a door lock botton had a knob on the end so it was easier to pull up by hand. You used to have to unlock the door by hand; reaching over your shoulder to yank the button. If you accidentally locked your keys in the car, one way to gain entry was by using a wire hanger. You would undo the hanger so it was one straight line. You would bend one end to create a small hook and then slide the hook-end of the hanger through the small gap along the front door. You would hook the interior button with the hanger and give it a pull to unlock the door. With practice, you could do this in seconds. In fact, my friend had lost his door key to his Vega. He kept a wire hanger wrapped around his rear bumper. Whenever he needed to lock the car, he would open it later with the hanger. He would be able to do this within 5 seconds. But today, it’s another art lost.
Hey, I almost completed the Sunday New York Times Magazine Crossword Puzzle this weekend. I never came close to finishing it before.
If you didn’t read the Wahoo Gazette, you’d miss stuff like that.
This morning I listened to Minneapolis sports talk radio station KFAN on the internet to hear what they had to say about the Johann Santana trade to the Mets. They played highlights of Santana’s career with “The Love I Lost” music playing underneath. I don’t think they were too happy. It was known for awhile that Santana would be leaving, but the fans are upset with what they got for him. No established major leaguers; no #1 minor league prospect. I’m glad the Mets got him, mostly because that kept the Red Sox from getting him. And I’m happy to have the Yankee pitching kids still on the team: Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes, and Ian Kennedy. The worst thing that could have happened to the Twins was for them to keep Santana and plan on trading him at the trading deadline in July . . . and then find themselves 2 games out of first. They couldn’t trade him then, and then they would get nothing for him at the end of the season.
For Christmas, I bought one of those GPS thingamajigs for my wife’s car. It was the Garmin 200W which I got online for $250 from CircuitCity. In stores, it went for $299.
And now a month later, I’m still checking the brochures for the price of that item. I want to know, “Do prices come down after Christmas?”
So far, the price has remained constant. It’s still at $299 in stores. I did see it at $250 in one store but that sale came and went real quick. If you’re scoring at home, judging from my own observations, prices do not come down on big ticket items after Christmas.
When I spend that much money on something, I like to make the experience last as long as possible. That’s why I’m still checking the price a month later. And, yes, I will be checking the price for the Garmin 200W next December, too.
It looks like the Curse of the Bambino is now dead. The Boston Red Sox sold the great Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees back in 1919. It took the Red Sox another 85 years after that to win a World Series. They’ve now won two in the past 3 years. The Curse is officially squashed. But what about the Curse of Adam Vinatieri? The Patriots let him get away in 2006. And the Patriots have not won a Super Bowl since they lost him. Is there a Curse of Adam Vinatieri? Is there? Yes, Boston, I would be very afraid. This week when your head hits the pillow, before you fall into a deep sleep, keep repeating: “The Curse of Adam Vinatieri . . . The Curse of Adam Vinatieri . . . The Curse of Adam Vinatieri.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Sunnyvale, California, it’s Karen Casner.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Woman Presents Gold Hat for Paul • Sean Young at Super Bowl Media Day • Dave's News Tease • Asteroid Message from NASA • Len Easton Phone Call • Len Easton Phone Call to Sue Johanson • Alan Kalter's Nude Flight • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Flying the Naked Airline Read now
• Len Easton Phone Call • Let's Talk About the Candidates
ACT 3 • Dr. Phil
ACT 4 • More with Dr. Phil
ACT 5 • Audience Shot: Empire Gold Hats in Times Square
ACT 6 • Lena Headey
ACT 7 • Gary Allan performs "Watching Airplanes" • Show Close
