" . . . and now, new manager of the New York Mets . . . . . David Letterman."

ACT 1:
It's quickly becoming our most sought-after segment. It something we call, "Cool/Not Cool."
We see a clip of Barack Obama gracefully slashing through defenders on a basketball court and making an easy lay-up. COOL.
We then see President George W. Bush taking a shot at a basket . . . AIRBALL! Uhhh, not cool.

Dave says it occurred to him that we'd get some great insight into the Presidential race if we could speak with the spirit of a departed President. Dave decides to try to contact the spirit of Harry Truman. Dave goes into a deep trance. Slowly, a shadowy ghost-like figure faintly appears. It is a Harry Truman. We hear the voice of Truman: "Hello, you've reached Harry Truman. I will be out of the office from June 15th through the 22nd. You may reach me at the Kansas City Marriott, or you're welcome to leave a message."
Dave is disgusted. He thinks this should have been taken care of earlier. Dave decides to forget the whole thing.

Gas prices are out of control. Dave says gas is so expensive he can't even fill up his lighter. Tonight as a public service, we're beginning a segment that lets motorists know where to find the cheapest gas in their area. We see a clip. Art Card: "Late Show Cheap Gas Finder"
Announce: "Regular is currently just $3.25 a gallon at this station, located at 600 Grand Avenue, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
Take advantage of it if you're in the neighborhood."

Dave shares a story of driving through Kuwait with Paul some years back on Christmas Eve. The price of gas 5 years ago in Kuwait was 18 cents a gallon.

And now it's time for "A Message from Al Gore."
We see Mr. Gore giving a recent speech: "Ladies and gentlemen, / I want / a / BLT." The guy has won everything but the Presidency, and all he wants is a BLT. Not surprisingly, in addition to his Nobel, Grammy, and Oscar, Al Gore has won an eating contest.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush, in cap and gown, speaking at a commencement ceremony: "My advice to you is not to dig a financial hole that you can't get out of. Live within your means."
FREEZE: caption - "President Bush's Current Deficit: $9.5 trillion."

Dave billboards Lance Armstrong for later in the show. He says he met Lance many years ago when Lance was just a little boy. He came up to Dave and said, "Uhhh, Mr. Letterman . . . .. could you teach me to ride a bike?"

ACT 2:
This just in from our research department:
A gallon of gas in Kuwait today: 79 cents.
A gallon of gas in Saudi Arabia: 45 cents.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A VACATION PHOTO WITH DAVE?
- it's summer, the time many of us escape to go on a vacation. We head on over to Rupert's to play tonight's installment of "Would You Like To Take A Vacation Photo With Dave?"
Rupert is wearing a Wake Forest T-shirt. Dave exclaims, "Hey, the Wake Forest Demon Deacons!" Dave asks Rupert how he enjoyed attending Wake Forest. Rupert says, "I never went to that school.
How did Dave know the mascot of Wake Forest? I don't know, but I do know that Dave has a curiosity of college nicknames. Mention a college and he will go through his mental rolodex to find its mascot. Last week when he had the interns lined up on 53rd Street for Mark Odgers to jump over, all I said to them was to know their college mascot. If Dave were to have a conversation with any of them before the jump, I suspected that would have been a question asked.
Rupert has a contestant standing by, one he seems to have just met. She is Kristen of Victoria, British Columbia. I have never been to British Columbia but just from the way Dave raves about the area is enough to make me want to go. Mention British Columbia and Dave is sure to rave of its beauty and splendor. Dave asks Kristen is she heard the recent story of body parts floating up on shore of British Columbia. Kristen says she has heard no such story.
Kristen is in town visiting and came along with a friend. Female? Yes, a female friend. Well, then, invite her in! Dave sends Rupert outside to 53rd Street to find Kristen's friend, Lindell. After some small chit chat, Dave invites the girls into the theater to take a vacation photo with Dave. Rupert leads, and once inside, the girls take their place with Dave and the Late Show models. Rupert snaps a photo of the quintet.
And that's' how we play "Would You Like To Take A Vacation Photo with Dave?" Luckily, their answer was yes.

ACT 3:
TOP TEN: Ways the New York Mets Can Turn Things Around - Mets manager Willie Randolph was fired in the middle of the night in Los Angeles Tuesday.
8. Stop leaving games early to beat traffic
3. Before every game, feed other team tainted to-maters.

STEVE CARELL: Starring in the new film, "Get Smart." Steve is a dad of two and Dave asks how his Father's Day went. Steve's 4-year-old son wished him a Happy Father's Day for a week and it still continues. His daughter, 7 years old, made him something. She said she learned in school that it's better to make your dad something than it is to buy him something. Steve says that isn't really true. He would have preferred something she bought. On a recent trip, Steve allowed his son to pack whatever he wanted. The essentials were already taken care of and his son was left with the chore of taking what he wanted on the trip, not necessarily needed. So, what does a 4-year-old boy take on a trip?
-a stuffed frog, a stuffed dog, a stuffed polar bear and 3 rubber cheeseburgers. Steve admits to not quite understanding how a 4-year-old mind works, but to Dave it made all the sense in the world. Steve's son packed his buddies to come along on the trip and made sure they would have something to eat.
What kind of family-time did Steve have growing up? Steve says his dad would take them camping, tugging along a pop-up camper on the back of the car. The camper was manufactured by a company named "Nimrod." Steve realizes now that it was an odd name for a company to give themselves.
(HA! I think my family had the same camper!)
Does his own family go camping now? Steve says his family wants nothing to do with camping. Dave seemed to hint that he liked the idea of camping with the family, and says, "Even if it's terrible, it's a great experience to tell years later about how awful it was."
We learn that Steve was also a bit of a competitive bike rider back in the day. Back in the 9th grade, he placed 4th in the New England Championships. There were only 6 participants, but still, 4th place is quite an accomplishment. He may have given up the sport when he learned that serious bike competitors need to shave their legs. Riders do this to reduce infection and the "ouch" when they take a spill.
"Get Smart" opens this Friday. Steve says there are lots of stunts and luscious cameos.
If it's half as good as the TV show, I'll be more than satisfied.

ACT 4:
LANCE ARMSTRONG: 7-time Tour de France champion and one of the greatest athletes of all time. How many miles has Lance rode a bicycle in his life? Lance estimates about 250,000 to 300,000 miles.
Lance has gone from riding and working out 4-6 hours a day in training down to working out an hour a day today. What does he do to keep busy? Lance says he's run in 3 marathons, finishing each in under 3 hours. And he keeps extremely busy in his work cancer research. His Lance Armstrong Foundation has raised $320 million dollars. And he's launched a new health website just today, www.livestrong.com. It's motivational, educational, and inspirational. I certainly need a kick in the rear to get this body o' mine back into recreational shape and I'm looking for anything to lift me off the sofa. And it states right there on the front page of the website: Dare To Change Your Life. It's a great site to go to for anyone with questions on how to make their life better.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Guess what, America? The Tony Mendez Show is back with an all-new episode! Sign on tomorrow and see Tony's Amazing Alien Encounter! Logging on to a website has never been this educational! We'll be right back."

ACT 7:
DR. JOHN: From his new CD, "City That Care Forgot," Dr. John and The Lower 911" performed "Time For A Change."

And that was our show for Tuesday, June 17, 2008.



And now, why was insect repellant "6-12" called 6-12? I asked this on June 12th. According to Tom Bruce of Brooklyn, New York, it was supposed to repel bugs for 6 to 12 hours.
And from what I've read, "6-12" ceased to be manufactured when it was discovered to cause birth defects on test animals. Now, if the test animals were mosquitoes, I guess that would have been a good thing.

My 12-year-old daughters had their first baby-sitting job this weekend. They were right across the street from me and the parents who hired them would be two houses away. Before my girls were called over, the parents had gotten the three kids to bed. My girls were a bit disappointed because they wanted to play with the kids. All my girls would have to do was watch TV and eat whatever wasn't locked down. It lasted two hours. When they got home I naturally asked how it went. My daughter Dominique summed up the uneventful night this way: "It was a useful waste of time." I've been mentally working on "a useful waste of time" all weekend and I love it. It aptly describes so many things. She says things like this all the time, cleverly describing an essay of thoughts by the use of a simple phrase. I jokingly told her that with her creativity and insight, she could possibly one day take over the Wahoo Gazette when I finally decide to hang up my typewriter ribbon. Yeesh . . . talk about a useful waste of time.

Major League baseball players are some of the finest athletes in the world, so I always have to laugh during interleague play when American League managers express concern for their pitchers who have to step into the batter's box and perhaps even run. Oh, gee, a pitcher may have to run the basepaths . . . he may get hurt! How silly is that? Ridiculous, right? But sure enough, Yankee's ace Chien-Ming Wang gets on base this weekend and later tries to score from second on a double. And when he rounds 3rd, he steps "wrong" and injures his ankle resulting in the very real possibility of his being out for the season. Why . . how does that happen? All he was doing was running!
I guess today's professional athletes are so finely-tuned to do what they do that they can't do anything else. They're specialist. Make them do something outside their specialty and they'll perform no better than anyone off the street.

Hey, kids, will you be in the Pacifica, California area this week? If so, head on over to the Pacifica Spindrift Players Theater this Friday and Saturday night at 8:00 PM to catch a one-woman performance of "P.I.D.G.E: My Life as an Acronym," featuring Pidge Meade. For more information, and a photo of Pidge and her dad, click on to:
www.pacificaspindriftplayers.com
Let me know what you think of P.I.D.G.E: M.L.A.A.A.

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics and their fans on being crowned the 2008 NBA champions. New York Knick fans had a very tough time watching this Final series between the Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers. They couldn't decide who they more wanted to see lose. I sensed New Yorkers gritted their teeth and rooted for the Celtics.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Austin, Texas, it's Karen Holmes
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER