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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Jeremy Piven; Elizabeth Banks; and Lou Reed. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; A Message from Sarah Palin; Late Show Green Tips; a plea from Alan Kalter; and Late Show Fun Facts.
" . . . and now, tonight's center square . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: "OJ is in jail awaiting sentencing. But today, some good news for OJ. Because he was convicted in Las Vegas, for the next 25 years his cell is comped."
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush, expressing his thoughts: " . . . and a . . .it is a . . . . . I think it's a. . . . . it's a . . . . . this . . . . . ."
ACT 2:
Odd Dave: For my records --- Dave rubs his fingers together and says, "You want a piece of this?" I put this "Odd Dave" in my data base for a possible future comedy piece. I'll be asked by a writer from time to time to come up with an odd shot of Dave they need for a bit they are doing. I try to get it to them as quick as possible, in hopes they'll write me in to something in a couple weeks or so.
"Get your tickets for Broadway's ‘Billy Elliot' now!" chimes Dave. The proud dad says his son plays the part of Billy Elliot.
It's now time for "A MESSAGE FROM SARAH PALIN"
- "I can / see / Iraq and Afghanistan / from Wasilla Main Street"
"Late Show Green Tips with Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan." We find the pair outside on 53rd Street. Chris is proud to announce he has just purchased a gas/electric hybrid to save on gas. Mulligan congratulates Christopher and then brings up a sensitive subject: "Remember that time when you picked up a hybrid in Times Square?" Apparently, Chris "hired some fun" and discovered he was unknowingly a character in a real life "The Crying Game." It's a chapter in his life Chris would rather not revisit.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
The book is out now! Dave reads some from the book, and then goes to a new batch sent in by Gary Sherman of the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information. Hmmm, now that the book is out, I wonder if I can start listing the Fun Facts again. Oh . . . I forgot about the probable sequel.
ACT 3: JEREMY PIVEN
From HBO's "Entourage" and the new film, "RocknRolla."
Congratulations to Jeremy for having won his 3rd consecutive Emmy Award. It never gets old. And he knows not all Award shows end as happy. One of his first nominations was for a Golden Globe and it was awkward. He felt good about his chances. His category was first on the docket. "And the winner is . . . . . . Jeremy . . . . . Irons!" Piven was up at "Jeremy." Ouch.
His next Golden Globe nomination ended happier . . . . but not as happy as it could be. He won, but due to the writers strike there was no ceremony. He was presented with the Award in his driveway. The guy took his picture with his cellphone.
At this year's Emmy Awards, Jeremy won for the 3rd time. The show was floundering due to a very poorly presented, very unfunny, opening. Five reality show hosts experienced reality first hand and it was not good. When Jeremy went up to accept his Award, the audience was still silently stunned by the Emmy Awards opening ceremony. It was that awful. Jeremy made a joke that got nothing. It bombed. The silence continued. He then said, "What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes and not say anything? What would happen? Oh, wait, that was the opening."
Nice jab, Jeremy. But imagine that, writers not writing anything for reality show hosts. Contrary to what they would have us believe, I'm sure they aren't used to that. There's no writing in reality shows, you know. Nope.
Jeremy is a very busy guy. He's doing great in the very successful HBO series, "Entourage"; he's got a movie out now entitled, "RocknRolla"' and he's currently on Broadway in the play, "Speed the Plow" currently in previews. He's learned that newcomers to the theater audience think it is an interactive experience. He had one guy yell out in one scene that called for Jeremy to be bleeding, "Hey, you're bleeding!" But then, in New York, you hear that a lot.
ACT 4:
Everyone is still talking about last night's Vice Presidential debate. Here to share his thoughts on the event is our announcer, Alan Kalter. ALAN: "Thanks, Fatty. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin defied expectations and delivered an impressive performance at last night's Vice Presidential debate in St. Louis. I, for one, was not surprised."
Alan turns to another camera; lights dim; sexy sax music plays. A sensual continues. ALAN: "Hey, Madame Governor. I know those long days on the campaign trail can be difficult. Why not take a break and discussing national security and natural gas pipelines and let Big Red lay some pipe of his own? That's right. Together we can build a bridge to ecstasy. Is Big Red in favor of ‘bipartisanship'? Oh, you betcha. I would change positions as often as you asked me to because when it's time for some hot, late night drilling, Big Red is the original maverick. And, while you continue to play up your status as a Washington outsider, Big Red is planning on being an insider . . . . all night long . . . . Oh, yeahhhhh . . . . . ."
DAVE: "Alan, please stop. We'll be right back."
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Sarah Silverman, The Teutuls, and musical guest Ra Ra Riot.
The Late Show! Man, I wish I had some fish sticks.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: ELIZABETH BANKS
Elizabeth plays Laura Bush in the new film, "W". She says Laura was hard to "capture" but says she was lucky to have met her once at a screening for "Seabiscuit" at the White House some years back. Elizabeth and her husband met the President. She told the President that her husband just graduated from business school. The President, a graduate of Harvard Business School, says, "I went to B-School, too. Get a job yet?" Her husband said "no." Bush replies, "Yeah, gotta turn this economy around."
Elizabeth then realized that she was taking up a lot of the President's time. She was sure there was a long line of people who wanted to speak to him. She started to say her goodbyes and thank yous, but noticed that no one was waiting to talk to him. She felt awkward trying to ditch him in the middle of the party with no one coming to step in.
In the film, "W", Laura was a smoker, so Elizabeth had to be a smoker. She had no idea how to smoke and felt very self-conscious about how she was going to do it. She was afraid she would accidentally light her wig, and sure enough, self-fulfilling, she lit her wig. She swatted it out and kept on going with the scene. Director Oliver Stone seemed to be fine with it because he never stopped. Kept right on going. Josh Brolin plays George W. Bush and Richard Dreyfus plays Dick Cheney. Elizabeth says Dreyfus is full of energy and can't sit still. For the role of Cheney, he had to "dive into nothingness" to find the character.
"W" -- it opens October 17th.
ACT 7: LOU REED:
From his CD, "Berlin: Live At St. Ann's Warehouse," in stores November 4th, Lou Reed performed "Caroline Says, Part II."
It had a good beat and it was easy to dance to
And that was our show for Friday October 10, 2008.
I was watching a Bette Davis movie the other night, "Now, Voyager," starring Claude Rains and Paul Henreid. Of course, it's hard to take your eyes off of HER eyes. Very expressive. But I noticed something else about her, something I first noticed in Anthony Perkins in a movie I've forgotten. So much of great acting is what the actor does with his or her hands. Ms. Davis' handwork "Now, Voyager" was fantastic. I could tell her mood in every scene just by watching her hands. I don't go to movies much, but from now on I'll be studying hands whenever I do. Could "hands" be the secret to great acting? I'll have to refer to my copy of Stanislavski's "An Actor Prepares."
Here's what I think of politics and politicians. No matter the Party, every politician wants what's best for America. They just have different ideas how to make it better. I think of it like going to the Empire State Building. You can get there by foot, by car, take a cab, take the subway, the bus, by pedicab . . . . you want to get there but you have to decide how. No decision is always right, no decision is always wrong.
I know, I know . . . . . my "Politics = Empire State Building" is still a work in progress. I'm still working on it.
And here is something else I'm working on: The final episodes of "The Sopranos" as a metaphor to this economic meltdown. Kick it around; see what you come up with.
Barack Obama has bought 30 minutes of network television time, all Barack all the time, to get his message out the way he wants to get it out. And I'm thinking . . . . hasn't he been getting that for free already?
Diamond Dust:
Pretend you are a major league baseball player. You hope to someday strike it big in the free agent market. Who are you rooting for in the American League: The Boston Red Sox or the Tampa Bay Rays?
Boston has the 4th highest payroll in Major League Baseball: $119 million
Tampa Bay is 29th out of 30: $43 million
If you are smart, you would root for the Boston Red Sox. If the Tampa Bay Rays beat the Red Sox and then go on to win the World Series, what will team owners think? They will be able to safely tell their fan base that it doesn't take high-salaried players to win a World Series. He can say it takes young hungry hustling ballplayers, (young = lowly paid in baseball standards) and will have the Tampa Bay Rays to prove it. And when it comes to be your turn to become a free agent, well, an owner could ignore you and go with one of his own lowly paid minor leaguers instead. If you're going free agent this year and the Rays win the World Series . . . . . it could hurt your negotiating leverage.
Did you see this week's "Tony Mendez Show" on the "Late Show" website? Can you believe he only does one of those a week? But that's a discussion for another day. In this week's episode, "Late Show" film coordinator Shecky, whom we at the Late Show like to call, "Shecky," plays the role of a female nurse. It's not a pretty picture. But seeing Shecky dressed as a nurse reminded me of a story from my days in college.
Late 1970s: SUNY at Cortland: I went to the library . . . I must have made a wrong turn . . . .and I saw sitting at a table near the entrance a nursing station offering free blood pressure examinations. I decided to get mine checked. I sat down. I immediately thought this was silly because I was very tired, very hungry, and very hungover. My blood pressure reading was sure to be skewed. But . . . it was free, so why not? I sat and rolled up my sleeve. A very pretty nurse rolled her chair over to me. And in a voice as deep as Barry White, she asks "How are you doing?" I quickly shoved my eyeballs back into my head and mumbled, "Fine . . . . good." The nurse was a transvestite; a guy who likes to dress as a woman. I gulped as she/he put the thing around my arm. "Where are you from?" she asks. I say, "Uhh, about a half hour north of the city." She asks, "Binghamton?" I uncomfortably smile and say, "No, New York City. A half hour north of New York City." I laughed to myself thinking how someone could actually think I meant "Binghamton" when I said "the city." She pumped the blood pressure machine to get my reading and she tells me my blood pressure is a little high. I tell her I'm tired, hungry, and hungover, "Would that effect my blood pressure?" She says it wouldn't. I wanted to ask if talking to a beautiful woman who has the voice of Bowzer in Sha Na Na could elevate my blood pressure, but I knew that answer. She suggested I lay off the salt. And ever since I haven't added salt to my food, except for celery, hard boiled eggs, and red meat.
Local radio station 10-10-WINS here in New York? Not a mention that today was 10/10. They missed it again.
Monday is Show #3000.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Jackson, Mississippi, it's Scott Novak
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
Jeremy Piven; Elizabeth Banks; and Lou Reed. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; A Message from Sarah Palin; Late Show Green Tips; a plea from Alan Kalter; and Late Show Fun Facts.
" . . . and now, tonight's center square . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: "OJ is in jail awaiting sentencing. But today, some good news for OJ. Because he was convicted in Las Vegas, for the next 25 years his cell is comped."
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush, expressing his thoughts: " . . . and a . . .it is a . . . . . I think it's a. . . . . it's a . . . . . this . . . . . ."
ACT 2:
Odd Dave: For my records --- Dave rubs his fingers together and says, "You want a piece of this?" I put this "Odd Dave" in my data base for a possible future comedy piece. I'll be asked by a writer from time to time to come up with an odd shot of Dave they need for a bit they are doing. I try to get it to them as quick as possible, in hopes they'll write me in to something in a couple weeks or so.
"Get your tickets for Broadway's ‘Billy Elliot' now!" chimes Dave. The proud dad says his son plays the part of Billy Elliot.
It's now time for "A MESSAGE FROM SARAH PALIN"
- "I can / see / Iraq and Afghanistan / from Wasilla Main Street"
"Late Show Green Tips with Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan." We find the pair outside on 53rd Street. Chris is proud to announce he has just purchased a gas/electric hybrid to save on gas. Mulligan congratulates Christopher and then brings up a sensitive subject: "Remember that time when you picked up a hybrid in Times Square?" Apparently, Chris "hired some fun" and discovered he was unknowingly a character in a real life "The Crying Game." It's a chapter in his life Chris would rather not revisit.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
The book is out now! Dave reads some from the book, and then goes to a new batch sent in by Gary Sherman of the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information. Hmmm, now that the book is out, I wonder if I can start listing the Fun Facts again. Oh . . . I forgot about the probable sequel.
ACT 3: JEREMY PIVEN
From HBO's "Entourage" and the new film, "RocknRolla."
Congratulations to Jeremy for having won his 3rd consecutive Emmy Award. It never gets old. And he knows not all Award shows end as happy. One of his first nominations was for a Golden Globe and it was awkward. He felt good about his chances. His category was first on the docket. "And the winner is . . . . . . Jeremy . . . . . Irons!" Piven was up at "Jeremy." Ouch.
His next Golden Globe nomination ended happier . . . . but not as happy as it could be. He won, but due to the writers strike there was no ceremony. He was presented with the Award in his driveway. The guy took his picture with his cellphone.
At this year's Emmy Awards, Jeremy won for the 3rd time. The show was floundering due to a very poorly presented, very unfunny, opening. Five reality show hosts experienced reality first hand and it was not good. When Jeremy went up to accept his Award, the audience was still silently stunned by the Emmy Awards opening ceremony. It was that awful. Jeremy made a joke that got nothing. It bombed. The silence continued. He then said, "What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes and not say anything? What would happen? Oh, wait, that was the opening."
Nice jab, Jeremy. But imagine that, writers not writing anything for reality show hosts. Contrary to what they would have us believe, I'm sure they aren't used to that. There's no writing in reality shows, you know. Nope.
Jeremy is a very busy guy. He's doing great in the very successful HBO series, "Entourage"; he's got a movie out now entitled, "RocknRolla"' and he's currently on Broadway in the play, "Speed the Plow" currently in previews. He's learned that newcomers to the theater audience think it is an interactive experience. He had one guy yell out in one scene that called for Jeremy to be bleeding, "Hey, you're bleeding!" But then, in New York, you hear that a lot.
ACT 4:
Everyone is still talking about last night's Vice Presidential debate. Here to share his thoughts on the event is our announcer, Alan Kalter. ALAN: "Thanks, Fatty. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin defied expectations and delivered an impressive performance at last night's Vice Presidential debate in St. Louis. I, for one, was not surprised."
Alan turns to another camera; lights dim; sexy sax music plays. A sensual continues. ALAN: "Hey, Madame Governor. I know those long days on the campaign trail can be difficult. Why not take a break and discussing national security and natural gas pipelines and let Big Red lay some pipe of his own? That's right. Together we can build a bridge to ecstasy. Is Big Red in favor of ‘bipartisanship'? Oh, you betcha. I would change positions as often as you asked me to because when it's time for some hot, late night drilling, Big Red is the original maverick. And, while you continue to play up your status as a Washington outsider, Big Red is planning on being an insider . . . . all night long . . . . Oh, yeahhhhh . . . . . ."
DAVE: "Alan, please stop. We'll be right back."
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Sarah Silverman, The Teutuls, and musical guest Ra Ra Riot.
The Late Show! Man, I wish I had some fish sticks.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: ELIZABETH BANKS
Elizabeth plays Laura Bush in the new film, "W". She says Laura was hard to "capture" but says she was lucky to have met her once at a screening for "Seabiscuit" at the White House some years back. Elizabeth and her husband met the President. She told the President that her husband just graduated from business school. The President, a graduate of Harvard Business School, says, "I went to B-School, too. Get a job yet?" Her husband said "no." Bush replies, "Yeah, gotta turn this economy around."
Elizabeth then realized that she was taking up a lot of the President's time. She was sure there was a long line of people who wanted to speak to him. She started to say her goodbyes and thank yous, but noticed that no one was waiting to talk to him. She felt awkward trying to ditch him in the middle of the party with no one coming to step in.
In the film, "W", Laura was a smoker, so Elizabeth had to be a smoker. She had no idea how to smoke and felt very self-conscious about how she was going to do it. She was afraid she would accidentally light her wig, and sure enough, self-fulfilling, she lit her wig. She swatted it out and kept on going with the scene. Director Oliver Stone seemed to be fine with it because he never stopped. Kept right on going. Josh Brolin plays George W. Bush and Richard Dreyfus plays Dick Cheney. Elizabeth says Dreyfus is full of energy and can't sit still. For the role of Cheney, he had to "dive into nothingness" to find the character.
"W" -- it opens October 17th.
ACT 7: LOU REED:
From his CD, "Berlin: Live At St. Ann's Warehouse," in stores November 4th, Lou Reed performed "Caroline Says, Part II."
It had a good beat and it was easy to dance to
And that was our show for Friday October 10, 2008.
I was watching a Bette Davis movie the other night, "Now, Voyager," starring Claude Rains and Paul Henreid. Of course, it's hard to take your eyes off of HER eyes. Very expressive. But I noticed something else about her, something I first noticed in Anthony Perkins in a movie I've forgotten. So much of great acting is what the actor does with his or her hands. Ms. Davis' handwork "Now, Voyager" was fantastic. I could tell her mood in every scene just by watching her hands. I don't go to movies much, but from now on I'll be studying hands whenever I do. Could "hands" be the secret to great acting? I'll have to refer to my copy of Stanislavski's "An Actor Prepares."
Here's what I think of politics and politicians. No matter the Party, every politician wants what's best for America. They just have different ideas how to make it better. I think of it like going to the Empire State Building. You can get there by foot, by car, take a cab, take the subway, the bus, by pedicab . . . . you want to get there but you have to decide how. No decision is always right, no decision is always wrong.
I know, I know . . . . . my "Politics = Empire State Building" is still a work in progress. I'm still working on it.
And here is something else I'm working on: The final episodes of "The Sopranos" as a metaphor to this economic meltdown. Kick it around; see what you come up with.
Barack Obama has bought 30 minutes of network television time, all Barack all the time, to get his message out the way he wants to get it out. And I'm thinking . . . . hasn't he been getting that for free already?
Diamond Dust:
Pretend you are a major league baseball player. You hope to someday strike it big in the free agent market. Who are you rooting for in the American League: The Boston Red Sox or the Tampa Bay Rays?
Boston has the 4th highest payroll in Major League Baseball: $119 million
Tampa Bay is 29th out of 30: $43 million
If you are smart, you would root for the Boston Red Sox. If the Tampa Bay Rays beat the Red Sox and then go on to win the World Series, what will team owners think? They will be able to safely tell their fan base that it doesn't take high-salaried players to win a World Series. He can say it takes young hungry hustling ballplayers, (young = lowly paid in baseball standards) and will have the Tampa Bay Rays to prove it. And when it comes to be your turn to become a free agent, well, an owner could ignore you and go with one of his own lowly paid minor leaguers instead. If you're going free agent this year and the Rays win the World Series . . . . . it could hurt your negotiating leverage.
Did you see this week's "Tony Mendez Show" on the "Late Show" website? Can you believe he only does one of those a week? But that's a discussion for another day. In this week's episode, "Late Show" film coordinator Shecky, whom we at the Late Show like to call, "Shecky," plays the role of a female nurse. It's not a pretty picture. But seeing Shecky dressed as a nurse reminded me of a story from my days in college.
Late 1970s: SUNY at Cortland: I went to the library . . . I must have made a wrong turn . . . .and I saw sitting at a table near the entrance a nursing station offering free blood pressure examinations. I decided to get mine checked. I sat down. I immediately thought this was silly because I was very tired, very hungry, and very hungover. My blood pressure reading was sure to be skewed. But . . . it was free, so why not? I sat and rolled up my sleeve. A very pretty nurse rolled her chair over to me. And in a voice as deep as Barry White, she asks "How are you doing?" I quickly shoved my eyeballs back into my head and mumbled, "Fine . . . . good." The nurse was a transvestite; a guy who likes to dress as a woman. I gulped as she/he put the thing around my arm. "Where are you from?" she asks. I say, "Uhh, about a half hour north of the city." She asks, "Binghamton?" I uncomfortably smile and say, "No, New York City. A half hour north of New York City." I laughed to myself thinking how someone could actually think I meant "Binghamton" when I said "the city." She pumped the blood pressure machine to get my reading and she tells me my blood pressure is a little high. I tell her I'm tired, hungry, and hungover, "Would that effect my blood pressure?" She says it wouldn't. I wanted to ask if talking to a beautiful woman who has the voice of Bowzer in Sha Na Na could elevate my blood pressure, but I knew that answer. She suggested I lay off the salt. And ever since I haven't added salt to my food, except for celery, hard boiled eggs, and red meat.
Local radio station 10-10-WINS here in New York? Not a mention that today was 10/10. They missed it again.
Monday is Show #3000.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Jackson, Mississippi, it's Scott Novak
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
